Honesty--Not the Best Policy
It astounds me how mature the rest of the world is when it comes to talking to their kids about things. Things like body parts (and their anatomically correct terms), what their parts are for, where babies come from...
I just can't bring myself to do it.
I once played "the penis game" with my then-best-friend, requiring me to yell "PENIS!" in a restaurant (and be asked none too politely to leave promptly thereafter). I once said "fuck it" right in front of my toddler (didn't know he was there). But I don't think I've ever said the word "penis" in front of him. Nor do I think I will in the next decade.
I just. Can't. Do. It.
Fortunately, there are a multitude of things in the world that are apparently far more interesting than the pending addition to our family. For Bob, anyway. He knows there's a baby coming, that it will either be a brother or sister, that it will be here in the summer when school is out, and that it's in my "belly." How it got there, or how it plans to get out, doesn't seem to be of particular importance to him. And I'm more than happy to comply with this Bob-imposed "don't ask/don't tell" policy. More than happy.
Because I'm just not ready to give the "when a mommy and daddy love each other" dissertation. I'd much rather do it the way my own parents did--
--wait til your kid sees The Movie in 4th grade health class, then ask a terse "any questions?" when he comes home and heave a sigh of relief (and pour a shot of bourbon) when the kid says "no" and disappears to his room. Or buy him a set of encyclopedia and let him discover the endless knowledge contained in the "S-Si" volume.
I just can't bring myself to do it.
I once played "the penis game" with my then-best-friend, requiring me to yell "PENIS!" in a restaurant (and be asked none too politely to leave promptly thereafter). I once said "fuck it" right in front of my toddler (didn't know he was there). But I don't think I've ever said the word "penis" in front of him. Nor do I think I will in the next decade.
I just. Can't. Do. It.
Fortunately, there are a multitude of things in the world that are apparently far more interesting than the pending addition to our family. For Bob, anyway. He knows there's a baby coming, that it will either be a brother or sister, that it will be here in the summer when school is out, and that it's in my "belly." How it got there, or how it plans to get out, doesn't seem to be of particular importance to him. And I'm more than happy to comply with this Bob-imposed "don't ask/don't tell" policy. More than happy.
Because I'm just not ready to give the "when a mommy and daddy love each other" dissertation. I'd much rather do it the way my own parents did--
--wait til your kid sees The Movie in 4th grade health class, then ask a terse "any questions?" when he comes home and heave a sigh of relief (and pour a shot of bourbon) when the kid says "no" and disappears to his room. Or buy him a set of encyclopedia and let him discover the endless knowledge contained in the "S-Si" volume.
posted by Mitzi Green at 4:59 PM
3 Comments:
I'm totally with you on the word stuff. I can't do it either and I can't tell the girls they have a vagina - to them it's a 'minnie'. Boys have willies and that's that!
As for the birds and bees. Mine never asked about how it got in there, they asked more about how the baby was coming out. There's a fantastic book called, 'Mummy Laid An Egg'. I'm not sure if it's available in the US but it's Purple Ronnie style. Let me know when you want a copy mailed over - it's hilarious.
I'm still on "private parts" but I imagine I'll start talking about vaginas soon.
Bella is convinced that I ate her and that's how she got in my tummy. I've told her that that's not how it happened, but she doesn't believe me. We've talked about how animals make baby animals (they've seen a cow and bull interaction on our drive to the ranch) and I'm hoping she'll make the transition on her own.
Billy will be of no help as he just blushes and tells me that I'm on my own in this department.
Perhaps you read my blog...
ha!
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