ADHD or JPC?
(Just. Plain. Crazy. In case you were wondering.)
I'm having one of those completely incompetent days. And for some reason, it all seems to center around the fact we are out of Coke Zero.
My car (which Ben drives to and from work every day) needs to be licensed. The tags expired in June. After a little snafu with the inspection resulting in the purchase of a $90 tire, I have (I think) all of the necessary elements to obtain the stupid little stickers that will make my car legal to drive again.
All, it seems, but the time required to stand in line at the DMV. Which, by the way, I hate almost as much as I hate the post office.
(Which leads me to ask--government employees are reasonably paid, have jobs that require very little skill, and get pretty much every other fucking Monday off--why, then, are they not only the slowest human beings in the industrialized world but also the bitchiest???)
Today, I had a plan.
I would get up at 6:00 and feed Moosebaby. I would get myself showered and dressed and then get Bob out of bed, showered, and dressed. I would drop Bob off at school and then take Moosebaby to the DMV, where we would be first in line when they opened their doors at 9:00am. I would get the car tags renewed and make it back to school by 9:40 to pick up Bob and take him to his 10:00 therapist's appointment. At 11:00, we would leave, pick up McLunch, and I would return Bob to school. I would then trot home, gather up some things and meet Bob & Co. at the local pool where they are having their weekly pool outing. After soaking up some sun for a couple of hours, we would bid Bob farewell (db is picking him up at 4:00) and head home, where we would make dinner and wait for Ben to come home, then we'd all chill until time to pick up Bob from db at 8:00.
Sounds good, doesn't it?
I forgot to factor in that last night was a BMX night, meaning we were all exhausted and pissy this morning. I woke up at 6:30 and grabbed a bottle and a baby, both of which I brought back to my own bed. I woke up again at 7:40 and realized Bob wasn't even out of bed yet. I got up and gave him his pills and told him to get in the shower. I started to take my own pill but then I realized we were out of Coke Zero, so the pill would have to wait. I made Bob's breakfast and went upstairs to...I don't know, do something. I realized I didn't have time to shower because for some reason, it was imperative (in my mind) that Bob be at school at 8:30. (I still don't know why.) I got the baby ready, we all got in the car, and Bob was turned loose at 8:40. I decided I'm too good to go to the DMV with no bra and baby puke in my hair, so we went home, where I tried to feed baby before taking my shower. I stuck the bottle in his mouth and he went to sleep. I laid him down and he decided he was hungry. This little dance went on until about 9:20 when I decided to let the baby scream because dammit, I needed a fucking shower. We picked up Bob at 9:45 and made it to his 10:00 appointment. I was hoping she'd skip the Update From Parent portion of the meeting so I could take the dollar bill I found in the diaper bag and stick it in the soda machine I found in the lobby, but noooooo...and of course, when it was Bob's turn to go back, baby decides to wake up and scream. So instead of enjoying easy listening and a soda, I spent the next 40 minutes bouncing a baby while pacing the lobby of a therapist's office. Afterwards, we left and baby finally went back to sleep long enough for us to hit McD's and get Bob back to school. I then drove by the pool they're going to and discovered it's a "neighborhood pool" requiring membership, and I'm not sure they would let me in even if I claimed to be part of the field trip group. Damn. About that time baby started screaming again and we got home. I tried to feed baby again and he still wasn't into it. I went to the kitchen for a Coke Zero, but--no, we have none. Should I go to the store and get some? Not with a screaming baby. Shit. Rounded up all the used bottles and put them in the sink. Changed out a load of laundry. Debated showing up at the pool anyway. Went back to the fridge for a Coke Zero--FUCK. By this time baby's screaming again, so I try again to feed him--this time, successfully. But he's still crabby. Put him in his swing and he goes to sleep. Now I think I'll have a Coke Zero and check my email, oh, and I still haven't taken my pill--DAMMIT, we're still out of Coke Zero and now the baby's asleep and no way in hell am I going to risk waking him up to go to the store. And I never did make it to the DMV and damned if I'm going to go now when every other loser who couldn't get there this morning is going to be standing in line looking crazy. So I guess I'll try to get there tomorrow morning--but wait, tomorrow is just as jam-packed as today is--I have to make pakoras (fried cauliflower) for Bob's "multi-cultural potluck" at 11:30, followed by Moosebaby's appointment for shots at 1:00, followed by Bob's appointment with the psychiatrist at 5:00.
Did I mention this is my last "free" week before I start my new job on Monday?
Kill me. Now.
I'm having one of those completely incompetent days. And for some reason, it all seems to center around the fact we are out of Coke Zero.
My car (which Ben drives to and from work every day) needs to be licensed. The tags expired in June. After a little snafu with the inspection resulting in the purchase of a $90 tire, I have (I think) all of the necessary elements to obtain the stupid little stickers that will make my car legal to drive again.
All, it seems, but the time required to stand in line at the DMV. Which, by the way, I hate almost as much as I hate the post office.
(Which leads me to ask--government employees are reasonably paid, have jobs that require very little skill, and get pretty much every other fucking Monday off--why, then, are they not only the slowest human beings in the industrialized world but also the bitchiest???)
Today, I had a plan.
I would get up at 6:00 and feed Moosebaby. I would get myself showered and dressed and then get Bob out of bed, showered, and dressed. I would drop Bob off at school and then take Moosebaby to the DMV, where we would be first in line when they opened their doors at 9:00am. I would get the car tags renewed and make it back to school by 9:40 to pick up Bob and take him to his 10:00 therapist's appointment. At 11:00, we would leave, pick up McLunch, and I would return Bob to school. I would then trot home, gather up some things and meet Bob & Co. at the local pool where they are having their weekly pool outing. After soaking up some sun for a couple of hours, we would bid Bob farewell (db is picking him up at 4:00) and head home, where we would make dinner and wait for Ben to come home, then we'd all chill until time to pick up Bob from db at 8:00.
Sounds good, doesn't it?
I forgot to factor in that last night was a BMX night, meaning we were all exhausted and pissy this morning. I woke up at 6:30 and grabbed a bottle and a baby, both of which I brought back to my own bed. I woke up again at 7:40 and realized Bob wasn't even out of bed yet. I got up and gave him his pills and told him to get in the shower. I started to take my own pill but then I realized we were out of Coke Zero, so the pill would have to wait. I made Bob's breakfast and went upstairs to...I don't know, do something. I realized I didn't have time to shower because for some reason, it was imperative (in my mind) that Bob be at school at 8:30. (I still don't know why.) I got the baby ready, we all got in the car, and Bob was turned loose at 8:40. I decided I'm too good to go to the DMV with no bra and baby puke in my hair, so we went home, where I tried to feed baby before taking my shower. I stuck the bottle in his mouth and he went to sleep. I laid him down and he decided he was hungry. This little dance went on until about 9:20 when I decided to let the baby scream because dammit, I needed a fucking shower. We picked up Bob at 9:45 and made it to his 10:00 appointment. I was hoping she'd skip the Update From Parent portion of the meeting so I could take the dollar bill I found in the diaper bag and stick it in the soda machine I found in the lobby, but noooooo...and of course, when it was Bob's turn to go back, baby decides to wake up and scream. So instead of enjoying easy listening and a soda, I spent the next 40 minutes bouncing a baby while pacing the lobby of a therapist's office. Afterwards, we left and baby finally went back to sleep long enough for us to hit McD's and get Bob back to school. I then drove by the pool they're going to and discovered it's a "neighborhood pool" requiring membership, and I'm not sure they would let me in even if I claimed to be part of the field trip group. Damn. About that time baby started screaming again and we got home. I tried to feed baby again and he still wasn't into it. I went to the kitchen for a Coke Zero, but--no, we have none. Should I go to the store and get some? Not with a screaming baby. Shit. Rounded up all the used bottles and put them in the sink. Changed out a load of laundry. Debated showing up at the pool anyway. Went back to the fridge for a Coke Zero--FUCK. By this time baby's screaming again, so I try again to feed him--this time, successfully. But he's still crabby. Put him in his swing and he goes to sleep. Now I think I'll have a Coke Zero and check my email, oh, and I still haven't taken my pill--DAMMIT, we're still out of Coke Zero and now the baby's asleep and no way in hell am I going to risk waking him up to go to the store. And I never did make it to the DMV and damned if I'm going to go now when every other loser who couldn't get there this morning is going to be standing in line looking crazy. So I guess I'll try to get there tomorrow morning--but wait, tomorrow is just as jam-packed as today is--I have to make pakoras (fried cauliflower) for Bob's "multi-cultural potluck" at 11:30, followed by Moosebaby's appointment for shots at 1:00, followed by Bob's appointment with the psychiatrist at 5:00.
Did I mention this is my last "free" week before I start my new job on Monday?
Kill me. Now.
posted by Mitzi Green at 11:58 AM
4 Comments:
omg I'm exhausted just reading that.
good--i'm glad it's not just me. ;)
but i have coke zero today and strangely enough, i'm on top of my game again. i think there's something wrong with me.
I'm voting for JPC ... I too was tuckered out from reading your eventful day ... perpaps you need to go back to work for a vacation! lol ... how'd Bob do at the races?
Damn. Maybe work will be more like a vacation???
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