Help Wanted
Saturday afternoon, I left my phone unplugged, and the battery died. I discovered this on Sunday, as Ben, Moosebaby and I were driving out to the IL's house to use their pool. I had two voicemail messages--one from my dad advising me the family was getting together at my uncle's house that afternoon if we wanted to join them. The other from my firstborn, advising me "tomorrow I'm getting a mohawk!"
Jesus Fucking Christ.
Ben and I stewed over this all day yesterday and all day today. No way in HELL is my kid going to run around looking like some little piece of redneck white trash until he's over 18 and no longer living in my house. And his douchebag of a sperm donor is well aware of my feelings on the subject of hair, given the shit fit I tossed last summer when he sent Bob home with a basic training-worthy buzz cut. Which is, I'm certain, why he asked Bob if he wanted a mohawk and when Bob said "yes!" so willingly obliged.
Fucker. Fuck fucking fucker.
I picked him up tonight and bit my tongue near in half when I saw him. But I wasn't about to give db the satisfaction of watching me freak out. No way.
The fact I got serious attitude all the way home didn't help improve my mood. Nor did the announcement that my firstborn has changed his name to "Cobra," because (Bob) "is a loser name."
Indeed.
So after Ben's request that he close the door on his way out was met with a scowl and a slam, we brought him to the table for a little Come To Jesus Meetin'. Wherein we told him his attitude sucked and needed adjusting, and that his new 'do wasn't going to fly as long as the two of us are still alive and well, and that if he wishes to continue to race BMX, the hair is going to have to go. And NOT be repeated in the future.
He cried. He loves the mohawk. And his feelings were hurt when he was told he looks "ridiculous." I told him it wasn't meant that he looks ridiculous, but that the haircut doesn't suit him and he looks so much cooler with normal hair. I told him we'd take a picture of it before it got cut off. And that no matter how much he begs and pleads, his younger brother won't be getting a mohawk before his 18th birthday, either.
I think that last part made him feel a little better about the situation.
(Yeah, it should--thanks to you, poor Moosebaby ain't getting away with shit.)
Earlier today, my mother commented, "well, we used to go around and around about your hair and your clothes."
Yes, mother, but I was in high school--not first grade.
Ugh. Calgon, take me away.
It's bad enough poor Moosebaby's hair fell out--from the top of his head. The hair on the back of his head stayed put and has continued to grow. Now the hair that fell out is growing back in. So my infant is sporting a baby mullet. Business in the front, party in the back.
I give up.
Jesus Fucking Christ.
Ben and I stewed over this all day yesterday and all day today. No way in HELL is my kid going to run around looking like some little piece of redneck white trash until he's over 18 and no longer living in my house. And his douchebag of a sperm donor is well aware of my feelings on the subject of hair, given the shit fit I tossed last summer when he sent Bob home with a basic training-worthy buzz cut. Which is, I'm certain, why he asked Bob if he wanted a mohawk and when Bob said "yes!" so willingly obliged.
Fucker. Fuck fucking fucker.
I picked him up tonight and bit my tongue near in half when I saw him. But I wasn't about to give db the satisfaction of watching me freak out. No way.
The fact I got serious attitude all the way home didn't help improve my mood. Nor did the announcement that my firstborn has changed his name to "Cobra," because (Bob) "is a loser name."
Indeed.
So after Ben's request that he close the door on his way out was met with a scowl and a slam, we brought him to the table for a little Come To Jesus Meetin'. Wherein we told him his attitude sucked and needed adjusting, and that his new 'do wasn't going to fly as long as the two of us are still alive and well, and that if he wishes to continue to race BMX, the hair is going to have to go. And NOT be repeated in the future.
He cried. He loves the mohawk. And his feelings were hurt when he was told he looks "ridiculous." I told him it wasn't meant that he looks ridiculous, but that the haircut doesn't suit him and he looks so much cooler with normal hair. I told him we'd take a picture of it before it got cut off. And that no matter how much he begs and pleads, his younger brother won't be getting a mohawk before his 18th birthday, either.
I think that last part made him feel a little better about the situation.
(Yeah, it should--thanks to you, poor Moosebaby ain't getting away with shit.)
Earlier today, my mother commented, "well, we used to go around and around about your hair and your clothes."
Yes, mother, but I was in high school--not first grade.
Ugh. Calgon, take me away.
It's bad enough poor Moosebaby's hair fell out--from the top of his head. The hair on the back of his head stayed put and has continued to grow. Now the hair that fell out is growing back in. So my infant is sporting a baby mullet. Business in the front, party in the back.
I give up.
posted by Mitzi Green at 6:08 PM
2 Comments:
I can understand when he's 15 or 16 wanting to express his individuality with hair. Zak's gone from Blue to Blonde to Lemon/Lime back to natural. I've been told Red is coming once he's been at the new HS for a couple of 3 months. But as I said, it's understandable at this age (14-17) and it's just hair and can be cut and grown out. But in 1st grade, and given that db knows it's a bone of contention w/you - it's just his way of sticking it to you, involving Bob in the process, and putting Bob in a bad place while you take the lead of disciplinarian. It is just db again showing his true colors
db is such a dumbass. No way did Bob come up with that idea on his own!
Although I'll admit I've let my 8-10 yr old do some "questionable" things and partly because I knew his Dad would hate it. lol
Although questionable = ear pierced at 8 and long hair (to the neck/over the ears). Hey he still looks normal. Mohawk is not normal. :-)
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