Reality Check
I'm not going to go to the dealership tomorrow. What's the point? We can no more afford a car payment than we can afford a $1000 a month mortgage payment. Oh, and speaking of which, I don't know what the fuck possessed me to think we could swing that, either.
I don't know what made me ever believe we could be a happy little Rockwellian family. I'm nuts, my kid is nuts, and my husband--well, he's either a glutton for punishment or sprinkling Xanax in his Wheaties.
I just want to run away. Leave him to his beloved career, leave the kid to his fucking beloved Fun Daddy. Fuck it. Let them all fend for themselves. Because nothing I do makes any goddamn difference. Half the time I'm not sure either of them would notice if I weren't here.
One mistake. One fucking mistake and I'll be paying for it for the rest of my fucking life. I'll never get away from it.
I don't know what made me ever believe we could be a happy little Rockwellian family. I'm nuts, my kid is nuts, and my husband--well, he's either a glutton for punishment or sprinkling Xanax in his Wheaties.
I just want to run away. Leave him to his beloved career, leave the kid to his fucking beloved Fun Daddy. Fuck it. Let them all fend for themselves. Because nothing I do makes any goddamn difference. Half the time I'm not sure either of them would notice if I weren't here.
One mistake. One fucking mistake and I'll be paying for it for the rest of my fucking life. I'll never get away from it.
posted by Mitzi Green at 9:29 PM
2 Comments:
What was your mistake exactly?
I really hate to hear you so down on yourself. So you can't afford a new car or a house right now...it's just right now. Mitzi, you're an amazing woman who has dealt with things that would have put most of us under. Please know that things will get better. They will.
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