Why Am I Here?
It's the day after Xmas, and the rest of the world thinks it's a holiday--so why am I at work? Especially considering the rest of my office apparently thinks it's a holiday, as well. When I left Friday, nothing "official" had been said about whether or not we were working today--and the concensus was we were--so I operated under that assumption and dragged ass out of bed this morning and arrived at 8:45...and no one is here. Right now it's just after 10 and it's still only me and a secretary who I believe would work straight through a nuclear attack (though when it snowed last month, she was the first out the door before noon). I'm giving my boss til noon to show up and then I'm outta here. And telling him tomorrow that, holiday or no, I'm not going to be here on the 2nd--and possibly half of the 3rd to make up for today.
We had our office holiday party Friday afternoon. It was, for the most part, godawful. I mean, the people in my office are all 10 years my senior at least, and have lived up here and worked together for at least 20 years. I've only just crossed the river a couple of months ago. Never have I witnessed such a divide between north and south as exists in KCMO since the American Civil War. And I've been a south girl since 1995. So I had no idea who they were talking about, what they were talking about, and was just generally bored until I called Ben at 5:00 and said "please come get me, I didn't drive." He picked me up and we went to dinner. We'd planned to go out with a friend of his he hasn't seen in months (I'd never met him), but once we got home, Ben starts calling up everyone he can think of to join us. Whatever. What went wrong was when he proceeded to get completely fucking shitfaced at the bar and invited people to come back to the house with us. You know, back in the day, I could party til dawn with the best of them, but dammit, I'm old and tired now. I value the little time I actually get to spend with my soon-to-be husband, and I value my privacy. My home has gone from party palace to hideout since I hit 30, and I hate it when that balance is disrupted without so much as a warning from the other person who lives there. So I got pissed. And the fact he was too drunk for me to relate how pissed I was effectively made me even more pissed. What resulted was a fight that lasted til about 5 am, when I decided to sleep in my son's bed because Ben was drunkenly throwing various appendages on me and making it impossible for me to sleep. Around 10, I woke him up and, now that he was sober, made it clear just how hurt and pissed I'd been by his actions. He apologized and admitted he let it go too far and promised it won't happen again.
Fair enough.
It was a good Xmas, though it didn't feel right because El Nino wasn't there. I missed him terribly. Ben's brother and SIL brought their month-old baby with them (of course), and I was strangely drawn to that kid. I've never been one to experience "baby fever," but holding that baby, I'm ashamed to admit it hit me pretty hard. We did spill the Big News re: our engagement--hard not to considering I'm sporting a ring on my left 4th finger--but we didn't mention when said event is to happen. I guess he's saving that juicy bit of news for later.
We did set a date last night--January 21, 2006. I'm not thrilled about this because my mom's birthday is the 22nd and I don't want my anniversary to be so closely associated with her, but what the hell. I'd marry him any day of the fucking year. I love him that much.
I really don't want to be here. I want to be home with my boys. It's so rare it seems that I get to be with both of them for longer than an hour or so at a stretch. I miss them.
10:20. Another hour and a half. Maybe.
We had our office holiday party Friday afternoon. It was, for the most part, godawful. I mean, the people in my office are all 10 years my senior at least, and have lived up here and worked together for at least 20 years. I've only just crossed the river a couple of months ago. Never have I witnessed such a divide between north and south as exists in KCMO since the American Civil War. And I've been a south girl since 1995. So I had no idea who they were talking about, what they were talking about, and was just generally bored until I called Ben at 5:00 and said "please come get me, I didn't drive." He picked me up and we went to dinner. We'd planned to go out with a friend of his he hasn't seen in months (I'd never met him), but once we got home, Ben starts calling up everyone he can think of to join us. Whatever. What went wrong was when he proceeded to get completely fucking shitfaced at the bar and invited people to come back to the house with us. You know, back in the day, I could party til dawn with the best of them, but dammit, I'm old and tired now. I value the little time I actually get to spend with my soon-to-be husband, and I value my privacy. My home has gone from party palace to hideout since I hit 30, and I hate it when that balance is disrupted without so much as a warning from the other person who lives there. So I got pissed. And the fact he was too drunk for me to relate how pissed I was effectively made me even more pissed. What resulted was a fight that lasted til about 5 am, when I decided to sleep in my son's bed because Ben was drunkenly throwing various appendages on me and making it impossible for me to sleep. Around 10, I woke him up and, now that he was sober, made it clear just how hurt and pissed I'd been by his actions. He apologized and admitted he let it go too far and promised it won't happen again.
Fair enough.
It was a good Xmas, though it didn't feel right because El Nino wasn't there. I missed him terribly. Ben's brother and SIL brought their month-old baby with them (of course), and I was strangely drawn to that kid. I've never been one to experience "baby fever," but holding that baby, I'm ashamed to admit it hit me pretty hard. We did spill the Big News re: our engagement--hard not to considering I'm sporting a ring on my left 4th finger--but we didn't mention when said event is to happen. I guess he's saving that juicy bit of news for later.
We did set a date last night--January 21, 2006. I'm not thrilled about this because my mom's birthday is the 22nd and I don't want my anniversary to be so closely associated with her, but what the hell. I'd marry him any day of the fucking year. I love him that much.
I really don't want to be here. I want to be home with my boys. It's so rare it seems that I get to be with both of them for longer than an hour or so at a stretch. I miss them.
10:20. Another hour and a half. Maybe.
posted by Mitzi Green at 10:20 AM
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