It Is What It Is...
...but what is it?
So while Ben and I were crunching numbers and desperately trying to determine how to salvage our extravagant and excessive lifestyle in spite of his company's cutting his salary by 20%, I thought I remembered seeing somewhere that I could claim non-employer-paid insurance premiums against my cafeteria plan. So since we have about $800 left for the year (and even with all Bob's drugs and docs and therapy and our allergy meds and dental appointments and Moosebaby's rare antibiotic, I can't see us going through all that before December), I asked him to find out how much he's paying for our insurance. He looked up his last paystub and discovered his new paystub (for tomorrow's payday) is already up. And this is the paycheck that reflects quarterly bonuses. And his bonus for 1st quarter is worth about a paycheck and a half.
Holy. Shit.
He knew it was going to be a good quarter, but he didn't know it was going to be that good. Aside from a glitch (not his fault) that caused one of his sites to get about twice the hits it should have for about a week in March, all of his sites have had astronomical traffic lately because, well, he's a rockstar. He's going to use this as leverage to try to get permission to work from home one day a week through the summer (in addition to having his mandatory unpaid Friday off) so that we can switch Moosebaby to part-time daycare (which would save us about $300 a month).
So--assuming he remains employed through the end of the year--we are safe til 2010. At which point, the plan is for salaries to revert to what they were before this week.
On top of that, db paid another month's worth of child support yesterday. (He's still in considerable arrears, but this makes 3 payments in as many weeks. Which frightens me.) I've spent some of his recent payments on things Bob needs, and things we need as a family--clothes for the boys, shoes for Bob, BMX racing fees, a summer family pool pass. (I figure we've been footing the bill solo for the past six months, we're entitled to a little payback.) The rest I have put into savings--either for emergency use or for our "slush" fund for Bob-related expenses or "fun" things (trips to the zoo, the water park, etc).
And my job is, if not enjoyable, seemingly solid. There's no hushed whispering about layoffs or paycuts or even salary freezes. Plus, they're firing our file clerk tomorrow, and I'm using that as an excuse to take on more work (temporarily, because I'm such a team player) and justify a little OT on my paychecks. Assuming I'm still here in December (and the only reason I can see I wouldn't be is if I take a higher-paying job before then), I'll be getting a (pitiful) raise and a bonus.
So while we are by no means "set," we are at least no worse off than we were a week ago. For now.
But I can't stop wondering "what if." I can't stop being afraid that every unnecessary dime I spend is a decision I will come to regret. What if I spend $50 on paint next week, and in September, Ben loses his job entirely? And can't find another one? And db stops paying child support or files a motion to modify or both? (I'm not necessarily worried about him winning on any motion he files--he's unemployed, he's on probation for assault, and he's shacking up with yet another girlfriend--it's just the idea of it creating another stupid expense and waste of my time.)
On the other hand, it seems like, if I haven't been terribly worried about it to this point--is it really necessary to be worried about it now? I know the responsible, adult golden standard is "6 months' worth of expenses in savings at all times," but come on--how realistic is that? I've never known anyone to have six months' worth of expenses in a savings account just waiting for that what-if. Is it really going to be our financial downfall if I spend a few bucks to get rid of the peeling wallpaper and popcorn ceiling in our master bath?
The worst part is that I've never been in a position like this before. Even lately, when banks are folding and stores are closing and THE ECONOMY is looming like a dementor ready to suck us all into the abyss and send our souless shells to the nearest soup line, I've never felt like we really had anything to worry about. We don't have any investments. Property values in our neighborhood are stable (even though houses aren't necessarily moving any faster than they were when we bought). We're current on all our accounts (except the still-outstanding medical bills, but let's not go there). And in the worst case, if Ben were to find himself unemployed, we could probably make it on my salary if we froze a few things and pulled the kids out of child care (not that it would be a cakewalk).
But that news Monday afternoon...that drove it home. We could lose everything, and it wouldn't take much. We're grown ups now. We have a house and two kids. If we lose our jobs, we can't just shack up with a friend until something else rolls along. We can't just pull up stakes and head west looking for work, Steinbeck-style.
Can we?
It's a frightening place to be. And it seems we're all there. No one is really "safe," are they?
Yeah, so...I'm going to take the $50 I have left from my "allowance" this pay period and buy some paint and wallpaper remover. And if worst comes to worst, at least my house will be show-ready.
So while Ben and I were crunching numbers and desperately trying to determine how to salvage our extravagant and excessive lifestyle in spite of his company's cutting his salary by 20%, I thought I remembered seeing somewhere that I could claim non-employer-paid insurance premiums against my cafeteria plan. So since we have about $800 left for the year (and even with all Bob's drugs and docs and therapy and our allergy meds and dental appointments and Moosebaby's rare antibiotic, I can't see us going through all that before December), I asked him to find out how much he's paying for our insurance. He looked up his last paystub and discovered his new paystub (for tomorrow's payday) is already up. And this is the paycheck that reflects quarterly bonuses. And his bonus for 1st quarter is worth about a paycheck and a half.
Holy. Shit.
He knew it was going to be a good quarter, but he didn't know it was going to be that good. Aside from a glitch (not his fault) that caused one of his sites to get about twice the hits it should have for about a week in March, all of his sites have had astronomical traffic lately because, well, he's a rockstar. He's going to use this as leverage to try to get permission to work from home one day a week through the summer (in addition to having his mandatory unpaid Friday off) so that we can switch Moosebaby to part-time daycare (which would save us about $300 a month).
So--assuming he remains employed through the end of the year--we are safe til 2010. At which point, the plan is for salaries to revert to what they were before this week.
On top of that, db paid another month's worth of child support yesterday. (He's still in considerable arrears, but this makes 3 payments in as many weeks. Which frightens me.) I've spent some of his recent payments on things Bob needs, and things we need as a family--clothes for the boys, shoes for Bob, BMX racing fees, a summer family pool pass. (I figure we've been footing the bill solo for the past six months, we're entitled to a little payback.) The rest I have put into savings--either for emergency use or for our "slush" fund for Bob-related expenses or "fun" things (trips to the zoo, the water park, etc).
And my job is, if not enjoyable, seemingly solid. There's no hushed whispering about layoffs or paycuts or even salary freezes. Plus, they're firing our file clerk tomorrow, and I'm using that as an excuse to take on more work (temporarily, because I'm such a team player) and justify a little OT on my paychecks. Assuming I'm still here in December (and the only reason I can see I wouldn't be is if I take a higher-paying job before then), I'll be getting a (pitiful) raise and a bonus.
So while we are by no means "set," we are at least no worse off than we were a week ago. For now.
But I can't stop wondering "what if." I can't stop being afraid that every unnecessary dime I spend is a decision I will come to regret. What if I spend $50 on paint next week, and in September, Ben loses his job entirely? And can't find another one? And db stops paying child support or files a motion to modify or both? (I'm not necessarily worried about him winning on any motion he files--he's unemployed, he's on probation for assault, and he's shacking up with yet another girlfriend--it's just the idea of it creating another stupid expense and waste of my time.)
On the other hand, it seems like, if I haven't been terribly worried about it to this point--is it really necessary to be worried about it now? I know the responsible, adult golden standard is "6 months' worth of expenses in savings at all times," but come on--how realistic is that? I've never known anyone to have six months' worth of expenses in a savings account just waiting for that what-if. Is it really going to be our financial downfall if I spend a few bucks to get rid of the peeling wallpaper and popcorn ceiling in our master bath?
The worst part is that I've never been in a position like this before. Even lately, when banks are folding and stores are closing and THE ECONOMY is looming like a dementor ready to suck us all into the abyss and send our souless shells to the nearest soup line, I've never felt like we really had anything to worry about. We don't have any investments. Property values in our neighborhood are stable (even though houses aren't necessarily moving any faster than they were when we bought). We're current on all our accounts (except the still-outstanding medical bills, but let's not go there). And in the worst case, if Ben were to find himself unemployed, we could probably make it on my salary if we froze a few things and pulled the kids out of child care (not that it would be a cakewalk).
But that news Monday afternoon...that drove it home. We could lose everything, and it wouldn't take much. We're grown ups now. We have a house and two kids. If we lose our jobs, we can't just shack up with a friend until something else rolls along. We can't just pull up stakes and head west looking for work, Steinbeck-style.
Can we?
It's a frightening place to be. And it seems we're all there. No one is really "safe," are they?
Yeah, so...I'm going to take the $50 I have left from my "allowance" this pay period and buy some paint and wallpaper remover. And if worst comes to worst, at least my house will be show-ready.
posted by Mitzi Green at 8:04 AM
2 Comments:
Welcome back...missed you.
aw, shucks. :)
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