Saturday Night Randomness

My cat isn't just fat--he's fucking fat. I'm sorry, Jake, but when you jump off my bed located in the uppermost level, and I can HEAR YOU from my post at the lowermost level, that's really just too fat for words. Cats are supposed to be lithe and stealthy. At 19 pounds, you ain't neither.

Um, yeah--I'm fucking fat, myself. I'm aware of this. And I'm starting to care. That is, care enough to actually do something about it. Now that we're settling into a routine and I don't necessarily feel like the ceilings will cave in if I spend 30 minutes here and there not devoting my attention to one or both of my offspring, I think it's high time I get off my ass and try to drop no fewer than 15 pounds. Twenty would be better. Thirty would be fuckin' awesome. (And, most likely, fuckin' impossible. But a fat girl can dream.)

My firstborn is growing at the speed of light and it's making me very, very nervous. One of these days I'm going to blink and he'll be in high school. And the thought of that kid getting a driver's license.... (Remember, this is the kid who rode his bike while looking back over his shoulder, thus coming into full body contact with multiple utility poles.)

We have pumpkins. Lots and lots of pumpkins. Ben bought four packs of seeds from the hardware store this spring--yellow squash, watermelon, jalapenos, and pumpkins. He planted the contents of all four packets within a 4-ft square area. I told him you can't plant crap that close together and none of it was going to grow. Oh, me of little faith. The jalapenos didn't produce at all, and the watermelon got kind of sandwiched between the gourds, but the yellow squash has done rather well, and the pumpkins...well, let's just say I'm waiting for the day when I hear a tap on the kitchen window and look up to see a pumpkin vine say "Feed me." They've taken over the back half of the yard, and the vines continue to snake their way out toward the house. So far we're looking at a harvest of around 20 pumpkins. Weird though it may be for a suburban backyard to host a pumpkin patch, I'm loving it. I love pumpkins--specifically, carving them. And those damn things get expensive come October. This year, I'll have unlimited pumpkin carving ability. Woo-hoo!

Yes, I am easily amused.

I got a letter from my OB/GYN office today, stating my account is seriously delinquent. Seriously? No joke? And that I won't be allowed to make any further appointments until the balance is paid. Oh, gee--you mean no annual exams? Break my heart. The only downside to this is I'll have to find someone else to supply my birth control pills and Zoloft, but that shouldn't be terribly difficult. I still have insurance, after all.

School starts a week from Monday. Thank God. Bob is in dire need of structured days once again. Summer Adventure Club has been fun, with the daily field trips and "classes" such as "sewing a pillow" and whatnot, but the lack of structure has taken its toll on the kid. I just hope to hell this year goes more smoothly than last.

And now--Moosebaby!