Wanted: Compassion
Because apparently, I have none.
I started to realize this lacking of mine on September 11, 2001. Terrorists flew planes into several buildings on the east coast. People died en masse. War was declared. Giant buildings were leveled with thousands of people still inside.
And I just couldn't really relate. I couldn't tie myself to the event, somehow. It just didn't affect me. I was nine months pregnant by an abusive drug addict; I had other fish to fry on a more personal, local scale. Still, I couldn't quite understand why I felt so little about this occurrence. People who were as un-tied to it as I was were in tears on a daily basis. These people were getting grief counseling. They were spending hours agonizing over the events, wondering "why?" and "how could this happen?" I was just growing ever more annoyed with my abusive drug addicted baby's daddy's insistence on keeping the t.v. tuned to CNN. I told myself that I would've felt it more, that it would have affected me, had the events taken place in Kansas City. But I couldn't even fathom that, because (1) nothing happens in Kansas City and (2) I wasn't sure I'd be affected if it did.
Then there was Columbine, and Kentucky, and the other copy-cat school assassins, and while I have strong feelings about that, too, I never shed a tear for the victims or their families. I don't know any of them. And while I don't wish anyone to lose a child (especially not over something so completely stupid and useless), I don't really feel for those families, because I wouldn't know them if they passed me on the street.
Now I'm told there are 30+ dead on the campus of Virginia Tech, and I just don't care. I mean, I care, and it's absurd (particularly so if the reports of it being an unrequited love thing are true). But it doesn't hit me where it counts. And that worries me a little. It makes me wonder why and how I got to be so horribly jaded that this is just another sad news story that will drive me nuts for a few weeks and then be all but forgotten.
Is it me? Or have years of shocking news broadcasts made me immune to disaster? Or do I still just have much bigger local, personal fish to fry?
I'm sorry to all those who have lost someone or who just have a connection to this event, truly. Just as I'm sorry for all those touched by the 9/11 disaster or the school shootings or any other tragic event we may not have seen on the 6'o'clock news. But I just don't feel it personally.
Maybe I need sensitivity training.
I started to realize this lacking of mine on September 11, 2001. Terrorists flew planes into several buildings on the east coast. People died en masse. War was declared. Giant buildings were leveled with thousands of people still inside.
And I just couldn't really relate. I couldn't tie myself to the event, somehow. It just didn't affect me. I was nine months pregnant by an abusive drug addict; I had other fish to fry on a more personal, local scale. Still, I couldn't quite understand why I felt so little about this occurrence. People who were as un-tied to it as I was were in tears on a daily basis. These people were getting grief counseling. They were spending hours agonizing over the events, wondering "why?" and "how could this happen?" I was just growing ever more annoyed with my abusive drug addicted baby's daddy's insistence on keeping the t.v. tuned to CNN. I told myself that I would've felt it more, that it would have affected me, had the events taken place in Kansas City. But I couldn't even fathom that, because (1) nothing happens in Kansas City and (2) I wasn't sure I'd be affected if it did.
Then there was Columbine, and Kentucky, and the other copy-cat school assassins, and while I have strong feelings about that, too, I never shed a tear for the victims or their families. I don't know any of them. And while I don't wish anyone to lose a child (especially not over something so completely stupid and useless), I don't really feel for those families, because I wouldn't know them if they passed me on the street.
Now I'm told there are 30+ dead on the campus of Virginia Tech, and I just don't care. I mean, I care, and it's absurd (particularly so if the reports of it being an unrequited love thing are true). But it doesn't hit me where it counts. And that worries me a little. It makes me wonder why and how I got to be so horribly jaded that this is just another sad news story that will drive me nuts for a few weeks and then be all but forgotten.
Is it me? Or have years of shocking news broadcasts made me immune to disaster? Or do I still just have much bigger local, personal fish to fry?
I'm sorry to all those who have lost someone or who just have a connection to this event, truly. Just as I'm sorry for all those touched by the 9/11 disaster or the school shootings or any other tragic event we may not have seen on the 6'o'clock news. But I just don't feel it personally.
Maybe I need sensitivity training.
posted by Mitzi Green at 2:08 PM
3 Comments:
And there is nothing wrong with it. When you are in what appears to be an emotional "protection" mode, it should come as no surprise you feel the way you do. I'd be worried if you had no compassion for a neighbor who was beaten up, or for your family suffering. Fry your local fish and give it some time, you may be moved by those far removed.
I felt (and still do) the same way when I heard about today's events.
Well, I think there's a fine line by people who are directly affected by the events and their emotions and grief, and people who are very far removed but let themeselves fall apart over every little news event out there. Hell, I was pregnant at 9/11 too and barely remember much about it - I shut most of it out because it was just too overwhelming and painful. I grew up in the NYC area so it certainly was sad and painful to watch, but I was thankful for all the people that DID survive.
What happened yesterday was horrible, yes. Both Joey and I have ties to the school and we are just stunned. But life goes on. We feel just heartbroken for the victims and their families...but part of being a Hokie (and a human) is the ability to heal and keep moving forward.
I don't think you're cold at all. What I'd be more concerned about would be if you actually lost someone in a tragedy and were just like "eh...whatever." And I know you better than to think you'd be that way.
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