My Kingdom for a Penis
I want to be male. Not just for the obvious reasons (the ability to pee one's name in the snow; $1 to my 70 cents), but for the best thing about being male I can think of--
the complete lack of guilt.
I got up this morning and decided to get my exercising out of the way early. I have a haircut scheduled for 11:30, so I'd planned to go to the gym beforehand. But it seemed silly to make that extra trip when I have a Reebok 5-position step deck and accompanying workout DVD right here.
I also have a hyperactive 5 year old who wants to talk my ear off while I'm trying to follow the instructions of the ultra-cheerful (but gratefully not ultra-thin) Reebok instructor.
He finally found something to do that didn't involve me, right about the time ultra-cheerful instructor started the cool down portion of the workout. That was about the same time Ben walked in and asked "would you mind if I go to the gym before you leave?"
As Dawn would say, "baleful regards all around."
Humph. Why does HE get to go to the gym and not be bothered, while I have to do my exercising here in the living room where The Bob won't leave me alone for 5 minutes?
The Truth--I don't. I can go to the gym just as easily as he can. The difference is that he can go and spend an hour there and not feel one shred of guilt about leaving Bob to fend for himself on a Saturday morning. I can't. And that's not his fault. It's mine.
But honestly, show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty to some degree if she's not spending her every waking moment catering to husband and/or child(ren) (and who the hell among us does?) and I'll show you a cross-dresser.
the complete lack of guilt.
I got up this morning and decided to get my exercising out of the way early. I have a haircut scheduled for 11:30, so I'd planned to go to the gym beforehand. But it seemed silly to make that extra trip when I have a Reebok 5-position step deck and accompanying workout DVD right here.
I also have a hyperactive 5 year old who wants to talk my ear off while I'm trying to follow the instructions of the ultra-cheerful (but gratefully not ultra-thin) Reebok instructor.
He finally found something to do that didn't involve me, right about the time ultra-cheerful instructor started the cool down portion of the workout. That was about the same time Ben walked in and asked "would you mind if I go to the gym before you leave?"
As Dawn would say, "baleful regards all around."
Humph. Why does HE get to go to the gym and not be bothered, while I have to do my exercising here in the living room where The Bob won't leave me alone for 5 minutes?
The Truth--I don't. I can go to the gym just as easily as he can. The difference is that he can go and spend an hour there and not feel one shred of guilt about leaving Bob to fend for himself on a Saturday morning. I can't. And that's not his fault. It's mine.
But honestly, show me a woman who doesn't feel guilty to some degree if she's not spending her every waking moment catering to husband and/or child(ren) (and who the hell among us does?) and I'll show you a cross-dresser.
posted by Mitzi Green at 8:42 AM
5 Comments:
Can I have one too?
Seriously, I was thinking Friday at work - we are supposed to close at 12:30 on Fridays during the "summer". Every Friday the guys will come and ask the women "how late are you working today?" and then make you feel like crap if you don't volunteer to stay late. But, if there's a golf outing, those fuckers vamoose out of there at 10 AM without thinking twice about leaving a trail of disaster at the office.
And this morning - MM had tae kwon do. Joey and I had an agreement that we would split the classes - he gets one class a week, I get the other - and of course I had done my duty on Tuesday. So I get the eye rolling, the "I don't feel like going because I have better things to do" attitude (like playing his new computer game) and then I felt guilty about going to the grocery store and getting a much-needed pedicure for my feet that were turning into weapons of mass destruction.
It's a no-win situation. Maybe having a penis would help after all.
why don't they care? why don't they feel guilty? is it because women are inherently the care-takers of the species, or have we just been socialized to believe that? nature or nurture? i could launch into a massive debate on this--but for now, i have southern comfort to drink and an easter basket to create...
Interesting discussion. And I have no idea if it is social conditioning or nature or some combination thereof, varying by degrees for every woman.
In my not so humble opinion, they don't care because they're lazy. Why bother if wifey (or mommy) will take care of it for you? We (women) have done it to ourselves. Every time we pick up his dirty socks or take over a project because he's not 'doing it right' or stay late to clean up their mess we continue to re-set the pattern.
It must be the penis. Mister is very helpful and actually much better with K-Man than I am. However (!), he does not feel a shred of guilt when he up and leaves us for a week or weekend to go to whatever man camp or event he has scheduled. Me, I feel shitty for working out in the evening when everybody is home, as opposed to early morning.
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