Fuck All Y'all
That's a shout out to all the people, places and things that are rendering me a few nuts short of a candy dish these days:
1) Christopher Bigsby, author of "Beautiful Dreamer," for not remembering his book was FICTION and therefore he could have stretched the truth and made a happy ending if he'd wanted to, because we, the readers, want him to, because the real world is where the shit happens and that's why we read FICTION, so we can escape to a little hard-cover world where the good guys always win in the end. Asshole.
2) My husband's job. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.
3) My son's asshole sperm donor. Hate him, too. His latest bullshit involves (a) implying he won't send December's child support until I provide him with all of Bob's medical and preschool records; and (b) going from "we need to work together to get (Bob) the help he needs" to "I don't think you should attend his psych appointment next week" to "I feel uncomfortable when you attend those appointments." He feels uncomfortable? HE feels uncomfortable??? I've never said "oh, fuck" when he walked into the shrink's office. I've never yelled "fuck you" and stormed out of the office when the shrink told me not to say "shut up" in her office. Oh, and I've never threatened to kill him. Though I'm giving it some thought.
4) The entire family court system of Missouri.
5) My ever-expanding midsection.
6) My job.
7) Midwest winters. There's a reason no one lived on the fucking prairie way back in the day. People were not meant to inhabit this area.
1) Christopher Bigsby, author of "Beautiful Dreamer," for not remembering his book was FICTION and therefore he could have stretched the truth and made a happy ending if he'd wanted to, because we, the readers, want him to, because the real world is where the shit happens and that's why we read FICTION, so we can escape to a little hard-cover world where the good guys always win in the end. Asshole.
2) My husband's job. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it.
3) My son's asshole sperm donor. Hate him, too. His latest bullshit involves (a) implying he won't send December's child support until I provide him with all of Bob's medical and preschool records; and (b) going from "we need to work together to get (Bob) the help he needs" to "I don't think you should attend his psych appointment next week" to "I feel uncomfortable when you attend those appointments." He feels uncomfortable? HE feels uncomfortable??? I've never said "oh, fuck" when he walked into the shrink's office. I've never yelled "fuck you" and stormed out of the office when the shrink told me not to say "shut up" in her office. Oh, and I've never threatened to kill him. Though I'm giving it some thought.
4) The entire family court system of Missouri.
5) My ever-expanding midsection.
6) My job.
7) Midwest winters. There's a reason no one lived on the fucking prairie way back in the day. People were not meant to inhabit this area.
posted by Mitzi Green at 1:41 PM
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