Random Crap 5.0
FYI - letting an inebriated friend who is also large and male mix you a drink after you're already close to snockered is a recipe for disaster and will likely result in your falling asleep with your forehead resting on the rim of the toilet bowl and causing an unfortunate bruise.
The only thing more annoying than a bored 6 year old who won't play outside is a bored 7 year old who won't play outside.
Real Simple is my absolutest favoritest magazine ever. So I thought their new "makeover" series, Real Simple, Real Life would rank equally high on my happiness list. Yeah...not so much. They should have called it Real Simple, Real Life, Real Corny. It's like what Queer Eye for the Straight Guy would have been had it been taken over by a bunch of overly excitable middle aged straight women with too much money and not enough common sense. "Mallery is a working mom with a home office. Even though she has a nanny to care for her 18-month-old son during the day, she can't seem to draw the line between work and home." Seriously? If Mallery can afford to hire a nanny, what the hell is she doing at home? Why can't she go to an office even for just a few hours a day? I want to see Real Simple's team of annoying over-dressed straight women help a single working mom find room in her budget for childcare and a sweet pair of strappy sandals. That would be worth watching. Or how about they send their style expert to my place, and he can teach me how to create fabulous ensembles with the ten or twelve pieces of clothing in my closet that I can still button?
Which reminds me--I really, really, really need to lose weight. Which might get easier now that I can no longer afford to eat lunch (or dinner or breakfast) out.
Ben is convinced my post-baby joint pain stems from my addiction to Coke Zero and Diet Pepsi, and that if I would just drink water, I would feel 100% better. So I started last week, taking a 32-oz mug to work with me and filling it from the office water cooler - three times. The first day I peed no fewer than 87 times. The second day, I peed considerably fewer times but still more often than I'm used to. The third day was a lot like the 2nd. Then it was Saturday and our water tastes nasty so I'll have to reserve my consumption for office hours.
The only thing more annoying than a bored 6 year old who won't play outside is a bored 7 year old who won't play outside.
Real Simple is my absolutest favoritest magazine ever. So I thought their new "makeover" series, Real Simple, Real Life would rank equally high on my happiness list. Yeah...not so much. They should have called it Real Simple, Real Life, Real Corny. It's like what Queer Eye for the Straight Guy would have been had it been taken over by a bunch of overly excitable middle aged straight women with too much money and not enough common sense. "Mallery is a working mom with a home office. Even though she has a nanny to care for her 18-month-old son during the day, she can't seem to draw the line between work and home." Seriously? If Mallery can afford to hire a nanny, what the hell is she doing at home? Why can't she go to an office even for just a few hours a day? I want to see Real Simple's team of annoying over-dressed straight women help a single working mom find room in her budget for childcare and a sweet pair of strappy sandals. That would be worth watching. Or how about they send their style expert to my place, and he can teach me how to create fabulous ensembles with the ten or twelve pieces of clothing in my closet that I can still button?
Which reminds me--I really, really, really need to lose weight. Which might get easier now that I can no longer afford to eat lunch (or dinner or breakfast) out.
Ben is convinced my post-baby joint pain stems from my addiction to Coke Zero and Diet Pepsi, and that if I would just drink water, I would feel 100% better. So I started last week, taking a 32-oz mug to work with me and filling it from the office water cooler - three times. The first day I peed no fewer than 87 times. The second day, I peed considerably fewer times but still more often than I'm used to. The third day was a lot like the 2nd. Then it was Saturday and our water tastes nasty so I'll have to reserve my consumption for office hours.
posted by Mitzi Green at 2:09 PM
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