The Pains in My Ass
I picked up Bob on Saturday at 6:09 pm. About 5 minutes into our car trip home, I asked him a stupid question--stupid, because the answer was already blatantly obvious.
Did you take your medicine today?
"No, my daddy said I didn't have to."
Oh, really?
"Yeah, he asked me if I was going to be good, and I said yes, so he said if I'm good I don't have to take it. And he said I don't need it anyway."
So of course, the pill I presented him upon our arrival at home was met with resistance. "My daddy said I don't need to take medicine if I'm good."
Yeah, well, your daddy isn't a doctor. Your doctor says you need it. And it has nothing to do with being good or being bad--I'm good, and I still have to take my medicine every day. So bottoms up, sport.
Can you say, "I'm so fucking pissed off I could kill someone--someone in particular--with a spatula?"
I got over it--sort of--yesterday, when my darling boy presented me with a hand-made Mother's Day card, proclaiming "Happy Mother's Day" on the front and his own prose on the inside: "roses or red, violeits or blue, youre wish well come true." (According to Ben, he was only asked for assistance in spelling "mother's"--the rest was all Bob.) I beamed, I gushed, I told him my wish had already come true. And indeed, it has. Bob and I went looking for flowers for my own mother, then drove up to my parents' house. The whole time we were there, I was nothing but proud of him.
Then this morning, I get this:
Thank you for Bob’s medication schedule. Please be assured I will follow the schedule so that Bob maintains his medication dosage.
I need to address your comment about me not “requiring” make-up weekend time that I lost during Bobs hospitalization. I have read and reread our court order and can find no stipulation that states that because I missed weekend time with Bob I loose that time.
What the court order does state is that if Bob is ill (mental illness qualifies as an illness), I am entitled for make-up time whether it be a week day or a weekend. I requested the weekend make-up time within the parameters of the court order.
As for your explanation that you missed out on having Bob with you during that time, I want to remind you that it was your choice to admit Bob to the psychiatric hospital. This point does not matter to me in as much as you have denied me visitation with Bob whenever you want. I feel this is a core component as to why Bob has struggled behaviorally and mentally over the past three years. You have chosen to ignore the court order that we both signed. On the other hand, I have been forced to accommodate you despite the fact that I have been denied the visitation time with Bob that is legally mine. I have done this in the past because I feel that it does Bob more harm than good to continually be in conflict with you.
I am no longer willing to be denied the visitation I am entitled to. Your cruel actions toward our child in denying my visitation rights are obviously affecting Bob.
I do not work in the legal profession. I do not receive free legal advice nor do I enjoy the benefits of being represented by the firm that pays my salary. What is clear to me is that you have a personal vendetta against me and your sole purpose is to ensure that I have no contact with Bob unless it is within your guidelines, not the court orders guidelines.
My only desire is to be Bob’s father and to have visitation with him in accordance to the court order that we agreed upon. I feel I need to state once again that when you provide me with Bob’s medication I give it to him.
Finally, I expect to have the weekends that I was entitled to but was denied made up. I am not concerned about your missed time, just like you are not concerned about all of the time I have missed. My intention is to enjoy my visitation with Bob, whether it is make-up time or regularly scheduled visitation time. I deserve that, and I am entitled to it.
With that being said, I will be picking Bob up from school on Monday the 12th and my regularly scheduled Wednesday the 14th. I will also be meeting you for my make up weekend on Friday the 16th through Sunday the 18th. Monday the 19th and Wednesday the 21st and Friday the 23rd through Sunday the 25th also Monday the 26th.
To summarize, I will pick up Bob for the visitation that I was denied during the week-days and during the week-end. I am holding you responsible for contacting the school and to respond to me to confirm these make-up days that I am entitled to. Please do not continue to ignore and disregard our court order and my emails, it harms Bob.
Maybe it was the self-righteous indignant tone of the email. Maybe it was the loosely veiled threats I took from the last few paragraphs. Maybe it was the fact the whole email essentially blasts me for being a shitty, vindictive, evil person set out to destroy a 6 year old when all I've ever wanted to do was to allow that 6 year old to lead the normal life he deserves to lead. Maybe I'm still really pissed off that this douchebag doesn't give a rat's ass that the kid has missed field trips, birthday parties, and now a school vocal concert he was really looking forward to because we've been unable to get his mental health issues controlled primarily because of this fucker's unwillingness to comply with medical orders. Maybe it's the enormous hemorrhoid creating an additional pain in my ass making me cranky and unable to deal with this kind of bullshit today.
Whatever it was, I read that email and my blood started to boil. Boil over, at that.
So I called DFS, as I had planned to do since Saturday evening, and reported db (again) for medical neglect. I recounted my conversation with Bob of Saturday. I advised them about db's visits and subsequent disallowed visits while Bob was in the hospital. I made an appointment to meet with a caseworker and Bob tomorrow afternoon after his first appointment with the new therapist--God, I hope he's feeling chatty.
I have also put in a call to the assistant city prosecutor. I want to find out what constitutes a violation of the "no contact" order db's been given regarding me. Surely a long-ass diatribe about what a shitty person I am would qualify. I guess I'll also be wasting a few hours on Wednesday morning at the courthouse, getting another fucking restraining order against this asshole.
I don't think there's much else I can do at this point.
I'm just mad as fucking hell. I was supposed to spend my morning at my OB's office being compliant with their stupid precautions, not making multiple phone calls trying to figure out what to do about the ongoing menace that is db. I'm supposed to be worried about when I'm going to pop out this baby, not about whether continued contact with a shit-for-brains baby daddy is going to adversely affect the progress I've made with my child's sanity.
What. is. it. going. to. take?
Did you take your medicine today?
"No, my daddy said I didn't have to."
Oh, really?
"Yeah, he asked me if I was going to be good, and I said yes, so he said if I'm good I don't have to take it. And he said I don't need it anyway."
So of course, the pill I presented him upon our arrival at home was met with resistance. "My daddy said I don't need to take medicine if I'm good."
Yeah, well, your daddy isn't a doctor. Your doctor says you need it. And it has nothing to do with being good or being bad--I'm good, and I still have to take my medicine every day. So bottoms up, sport.
Can you say, "I'm so fucking pissed off I could kill someone--someone in particular--with a spatula?"
I got over it--sort of--yesterday, when my darling boy presented me with a hand-made Mother's Day card, proclaiming "Happy Mother's Day" on the front and his own prose on the inside: "roses or red, violeits or blue, youre wish well come true." (According to Ben, he was only asked for assistance in spelling "mother's"--the rest was all Bob.) I beamed, I gushed, I told him my wish had already come true. And indeed, it has. Bob and I went looking for flowers for my own mother, then drove up to my parents' house. The whole time we were there, I was nothing but proud of him.
Then this morning, I get this:
Thank you for Bob’s medication schedule. Please be assured I will follow the schedule so that Bob maintains his medication dosage.
I need to address your comment about me not “requiring” make-up weekend time that I lost during Bobs hospitalization. I have read and reread our court order and can find no stipulation that states that because I missed weekend time with Bob I loose that time.
What the court order does state is that if Bob is ill (mental illness qualifies as an illness), I am entitled for make-up time whether it be a week day or a weekend. I requested the weekend make-up time within the parameters of the court order.
As for your explanation that you missed out on having Bob with you during that time, I want to remind you that it was your choice to admit Bob to the psychiatric hospital. This point does not matter to me in as much as you have denied me visitation with Bob whenever you want. I feel this is a core component as to why Bob has struggled behaviorally and mentally over the past three years. You have chosen to ignore the court order that we both signed. On the other hand, I have been forced to accommodate you despite the fact that I have been denied the visitation time with Bob that is legally mine. I have done this in the past because I feel that it does Bob more harm than good to continually be in conflict with you.
I am no longer willing to be denied the visitation I am entitled to. Your cruel actions toward our child in denying my visitation rights are obviously affecting Bob.
I do not work in the legal profession. I do not receive free legal advice nor do I enjoy the benefits of being represented by the firm that pays my salary. What is clear to me is that you have a personal vendetta against me and your sole purpose is to ensure that I have no contact with Bob unless it is within your guidelines, not the court orders guidelines.
My only desire is to be Bob’s father and to have visitation with him in accordance to the court order that we agreed upon. I feel I need to state once again that when you provide me with Bob’s medication I give it to him.
Finally, I expect to have the weekends that I was entitled to but was denied made up. I am not concerned about your missed time, just like you are not concerned about all of the time I have missed. My intention is to enjoy my visitation with Bob, whether it is make-up time or regularly scheduled visitation time. I deserve that, and I am entitled to it.
With that being said, I will be picking Bob up from school on Monday the 12th and my regularly scheduled Wednesday the 14th. I will also be meeting you for my make up weekend on Friday the 16th through Sunday the 18th. Monday the 19th and Wednesday the 21st and Friday the 23rd through Sunday the 25th also Monday the 26th.
To summarize, I will pick up Bob for the visitation that I was denied during the week-days and during the week-end. I am holding you responsible for contacting the school and to respond to me to confirm these make-up days that I am entitled to. Please do not continue to ignore and disregard our court order and my emails, it harms Bob.
Maybe it was the self-righteous indignant tone of the email. Maybe it was the loosely veiled threats I took from the last few paragraphs. Maybe it was the fact the whole email essentially blasts me for being a shitty, vindictive, evil person set out to destroy a 6 year old when all I've ever wanted to do was to allow that 6 year old to lead the normal life he deserves to lead. Maybe I'm still really pissed off that this douchebag doesn't give a rat's ass that the kid has missed field trips, birthday parties, and now a school vocal concert he was really looking forward to because we've been unable to get his mental health issues controlled primarily because of this fucker's unwillingness to comply with medical orders. Maybe it's the enormous hemorrhoid creating an additional pain in my ass making me cranky and unable to deal with this kind of bullshit today.
Whatever it was, I read that email and my blood started to boil. Boil over, at that.
So I called DFS, as I had planned to do since Saturday evening, and reported db (again) for medical neglect. I recounted my conversation with Bob of Saturday. I advised them about db's visits and subsequent disallowed visits while Bob was in the hospital. I made an appointment to meet with a caseworker and Bob tomorrow afternoon after his first appointment with the new therapist--God, I hope he's feeling chatty.
I have also put in a call to the assistant city prosecutor. I want to find out what constitutes a violation of the "no contact" order db's been given regarding me. Surely a long-ass diatribe about what a shitty person I am would qualify. I guess I'll also be wasting a few hours on Wednesday morning at the courthouse, getting another fucking restraining order against this asshole.
I don't think there's much else I can do at this point.
I'm just mad as fucking hell. I was supposed to spend my morning at my OB's office being compliant with their stupid precautions, not making multiple phone calls trying to figure out what to do about the ongoing menace that is db. I'm supposed to be worried about when I'm going to pop out this baby, not about whether continued contact with a shit-for-brains baby daddy is going to adversely affect the progress I've made with my child's sanity.
What. is. it. going. to. take?
posted by Mitzi Green at 11:58 AM
2 Comments:
i would love a few minutes alone with db. he needs a serious attitude adjustment and a reality check. i'd love to string him up by his neck and watch him choke to death.
there, i said it.
does this man hate his son so much and is he so desperate for your attention that he must continually undermine Bob's progress by passing by the dose of meds? seriously, his behavior indicates that he is either incredibly jealous of his son or wishes the worst for him. the man needs help. HE NEEDS TO GET ON MEDS.
I agree, what an ass db is, but that was already known. He's a self-righteous weenie - I divorced mine too. Thankfully I only to technically have 1.5 years left of jumping through his hoops. I cannot wait for Zak's 18th birthday, Summer 2009 cannot come soon enough for me.
Seek out the restraining order, the diatribes are SO contact with you ... even more so that they are attempting to make you feel bad, etc and eat away at your psyche. You were right in your post a while ago while most women just give up trying to utilize "the system" ... it takes money, time and most of all enduring patience to deal with the idiocy of the bureaucracy.
Post a Comment
<< Home