Doesn't Anyone Beat Their Kids Anymore???
Starting at approximately 18 months old, Bob became "that kid."
You know, the one who was always in trouble. The one who prompted preschool teachers and daycare directors to call me at work and schedule conferences and express their concern about my child's behavior. The one who decided he was bored in the toddler room and escaped its confines (doorknob covers be damned) to participate (virtually unnoticed) in the 3-year-old class. The one who wouldn't "use his words" because, let's be honest, a nice bite is much more effective. The one who hated being told what to do and couldn't understand running away only compounded the trouble he was in.
I used to believe what these so-called "professionals" told me--that mine was the absolute worst, most horribly-behaved child ever. Ever.
More recently, however, I've opened my eyes to reality, and stopped staring so hard at my own kid so that I might focus on everyone else's. And what I've learned is this--compared to some of these little fuckers, my kid is a fucking poster child for appropriate behavior.
I've watched kids eat their way through a grocery store because it's the only way to keep them quiet. I've listened to kids shriek and scream and cry their way through a grocery store because...oh, hell, who the fuck knows why. I've listened to parents give that broken record diatribe in that same "who gives a shit anymore" monotone--"honey put that down we don't hit no that's not nice now you need to sit down please don't kick your sister put that down please"--while the kids completely ignore them. I've listened to kids who are damn well old enough to know better run and stomp and giggle and scream and whine through my office--my office, mind you--because it's easier on mom to bring them with her than to find a sitter for the two hours she's going to be here.
What I'd like to know is this--when the hell did people start putting their kids on a pedestal so goddamn high they now tower above the rules of acceptable behavior?
Has my child ever acted like an ass at the grocery store? Hell, yes. Which is why there was a period when I only grocery shopped every other weekend when he was at his father's house. Or paid a teenage girl an obscene amount of money during the week so I wouldn't be caught without pull-ups. Have I ever hauled Bob out of a store, leaving whatever I was going to purchase right in the middle of an aisle? Damn skippy. Does my kid, now 5 1/2, know NOW how to behave himself in a store? Yes. Does he know there will be hell to pay if he doesn't govern himself accordingly? You bet your ass.
And what, I ask, is so wrong with this? I thought I was a parent. I thought it was my responsibility to teach my kid how to act in various places and situations. Yes, I'm supposed to love and cherish and care for him, but not to the detriment of him and everyone else around him. And if I'm tired or stressed or pressed for time or whatever excuse I hear from some of these lax parents, then all the better reason for my kid to mind himself. Who wants to be tired or stressed or pressed for time or whatever AND have to deal with a pain in the ass kid on top of it all?
I guess I just don't understand why it's perfectly acceptable to get rid of a dog that jumps on people and tears up the furniture--but the same people would find that behavior perfectly acceptable coming from their children. Which brings to mind a phrase my father used to often mutter...
"Kids and dogs--what they don't eat, they shit on."
Curb your kids. Please.
You know, the one who was always in trouble. The one who prompted preschool teachers and daycare directors to call me at work and schedule conferences and express their concern about my child's behavior. The one who decided he was bored in the toddler room and escaped its confines (doorknob covers be damned) to participate (virtually unnoticed) in the 3-year-old class. The one who wouldn't "use his words" because, let's be honest, a nice bite is much more effective. The one who hated being told what to do and couldn't understand running away only compounded the trouble he was in.
I used to believe what these so-called "professionals" told me--that mine was the absolute worst, most horribly-behaved child ever. Ever.
More recently, however, I've opened my eyes to reality, and stopped staring so hard at my own kid so that I might focus on everyone else's. And what I've learned is this--compared to some of these little fuckers, my kid is a fucking poster child for appropriate behavior.
I've watched kids eat their way through a grocery store because it's the only way to keep them quiet. I've listened to kids shriek and scream and cry their way through a grocery store because...oh, hell, who the fuck knows why. I've listened to parents give that broken record diatribe in that same "who gives a shit anymore" monotone--"honey put that down we don't hit no that's not nice now you need to sit down please don't kick your sister put that down please"--while the kids completely ignore them. I've listened to kids who are damn well old enough to know better run and stomp and giggle and scream and whine through my office--my office, mind you--because it's easier on mom to bring them with her than to find a sitter for the two hours she's going to be here.
What I'd like to know is this--when the hell did people start putting their kids on a pedestal so goddamn high they now tower above the rules of acceptable behavior?
Has my child ever acted like an ass at the grocery store? Hell, yes. Which is why there was a period when I only grocery shopped every other weekend when he was at his father's house. Or paid a teenage girl an obscene amount of money during the week so I wouldn't be caught without pull-ups. Have I ever hauled Bob out of a store, leaving whatever I was going to purchase right in the middle of an aisle? Damn skippy. Does my kid, now 5 1/2, know NOW how to behave himself in a store? Yes. Does he know there will be hell to pay if he doesn't govern himself accordingly? You bet your ass.
And what, I ask, is so wrong with this? I thought I was a parent. I thought it was my responsibility to teach my kid how to act in various places and situations. Yes, I'm supposed to love and cherish and care for him, but not to the detriment of him and everyone else around him. And if I'm tired or stressed or pressed for time or whatever excuse I hear from some of these lax parents, then all the better reason for my kid to mind himself. Who wants to be tired or stressed or pressed for time or whatever AND have to deal with a pain in the ass kid on top of it all?
I guess I just don't understand why it's perfectly acceptable to get rid of a dog that jumps on people and tears up the furniture--but the same people would find that behavior perfectly acceptable coming from their children. Which brings to mind a phrase my father used to often mutter...
"Kids and dogs--what they don't eat, they shit on."
Curb your kids. Please.
posted by Mitzi Green at 12:04 PM
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