Bang Your Head
...against a wall. It's fun!
After Bob was banished from preschool yesterday, he was the perfect angel. Perfect. I brought him to my office, where he ate his lunch sitting on the floor. Not a peep. Ben picked him up around noon, and advised him he'd be spending the afternoon sitting on the area rug in the non-living room part of our living room (actually the dining room of our L-shaped living/dining, but we don't use it for dining). He got 3 crayons, a coloring book, and a pillow and was told to make himself comfortable. And he stayed there, all afternoon, without a complaint or argument.
Unfuckingreal. If I had half an idea what goes on in that kid's head, I'd be a fucking millionaire.
Ben and I allowed ourselves individual bike rides last night. He dropped off Bob's prescription for Adderall on his, I picked it up on mine. But before I did, I spent at least 20 minutes riding hard. Hard. I kept thinking about db's ludicrous accusations, his ridiculous denial of mine (which are fairly well-documented), and his absurd proposed parenting plan all but cutting me out of Bob's life entirely. And I pedaled against the wind as hard as I could, even though I'd guessed incorrectly it was warm enough to forego my ear plugs and the wind was taking its toll on my ears.
I felt better when I got back.
Bob had one major fuck up this morning, when he got mad and plowed into another kid and refused to apologize. The teacher held her ground with him, and finally got him to realize he couldn't participate if he was going to be an ass, which sent him into gut-wrenching sobs. She made the point to me--and sadly, I agree with her--that you pretty much have to carry that kid to his breaking point before you can make any headway with him. After he calmed down and apologized, he was able to rejoin the class, and he's been fine since then. Even earned back the penny he lost for his shit fit.
Of course, it's been almost 2 hours since I talked to her, but hopefully nothing new has developed in that time.
She did ask me if his medication had any side effects. Um, hundreds, it's amphetamine. Then she told me Bob's pupils are dilated so much she can see it from across the room. But he denies any problems and says he feels fine. I said, "of course he does, he's hopped up on speed."
To say I am uneasy about turning my kid into a walking pharmacy is the understatement of the year. But I'm not sure I have a choice at this point. He hasn't been able to function on a day-to-day basis. I can't overlook that. I can't quit my job and stay home with him until he can go to public school--that wouldn't do a damn bit of good for him and we'd go broke to boot.
What choice do you make when you don't have any?
I started researching Missouri case law regarding "parental alienation" this morning. From what I've found, Missouri courts don't really buy into that shit. Lucky for me. I found one case where a db was awarded custody on that claim, and it was overturned on appeal. Even better.
It's chilly and rainy and I'm so damn glad Ben doesn't have to work tonight. I'm much less touchy about him working evenings than I have been in the past (I think), but I do miss him when he's gone.
After Bob was banished from preschool yesterday, he was the perfect angel. Perfect. I brought him to my office, where he ate his lunch sitting on the floor. Not a peep. Ben picked him up around noon, and advised him he'd be spending the afternoon sitting on the area rug in the non-living room part of our living room (actually the dining room of our L-shaped living/dining, but we don't use it for dining). He got 3 crayons, a coloring book, and a pillow and was told to make himself comfortable. And he stayed there, all afternoon, without a complaint or argument.
Unfuckingreal. If I had half an idea what goes on in that kid's head, I'd be a fucking millionaire.
Ben and I allowed ourselves individual bike rides last night. He dropped off Bob's prescription for Adderall on his, I picked it up on mine. But before I did, I spent at least 20 minutes riding hard. Hard. I kept thinking about db's ludicrous accusations, his ridiculous denial of mine (which are fairly well-documented), and his absurd proposed parenting plan all but cutting me out of Bob's life entirely. And I pedaled against the wind as hard as I could, even though I'd guessed incorrectly it was warm enough to forego my ear plugs and the wind was taking its toll on my ears.
I felt better when I got back.
Bob had one major fuck up this morning, when he got mad and plowed into another kid and refused to apologize. The teacher held her ground with him, and finally got him to realize he couldn't participate if he was going to be an ass, which sent him into gut-wrenching sobs. She made the point to me--and sadly, I agree with her--that you pretty much have to carry that kid to his breaking point before you can make any headway with him. After he calmed down and apologized, he was able to rejoin the class, and he's been fine since then. Even earned back the penny he lost for his shit fit.
Of course, it's been almost 2 hours since I talked to her, but hopefully nothing new has developed in that time.
She did ask me if his medication had any side effects. Um, hundreds, it's amphetamine. Then she told me Bob's pupils are dilated so much she can see it from across the room. But he denies any problems and says he feels fine. I said, "of course he does, he's hopped up on speed."
To say I am uneasy about turning my kid into a walking pharmacy is the understatement of the year. But I'm not sure I have a choice at this point. He hasn't been able to function on a day-to-day basis. I can't overlook that. I can't quit my job and stay home with him until he can go to public school--that wouldn't do a damn bit of good for him and we'd go broke to boot.
What choice do you make when you don't have any?
I started researching Missouri case law regarding "parental alienation" this morning. From what I've found, Missouri courts don't really buy into that shit. Lucky for me. I found one case where a db was awarded custody on that claim, and it was overturned on appeal. Even better.
It's chilly and rainy and I'm so damn glad Ben doesn't have to work tonight. I'm much less touchy about him working evenings than I have been in the past (I think), but I do miss him when he's gone.
posted by Mitzi Green at 1:09 PM
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