Taking Fingers
Around 10:30 this morning, I got a call from Bob's teacher.
Here we go. Again. Still.
We started the Penny Jar at school yesterday, thanks to Ben's genius idea and Bob's teacher's genius tweaking of said idea. The idea is Bob has a jar in the kitchen of the school. Every day, he starts with 10 pennies in the jar. If he fucks up, he has to remove a penny. If he does good, he gets to put a penny in. Five pennies at the end of the day = a sticker on our calendar at home. 10 pennies = 2 stickers. 20 stickers = the new Star Wars video game.
Yesterday, he ended the day with 2 pennies. And those were ones he'd earned back.
As of 10:30 am today, he was down to 1 penny. Good thing Ben and I discussed it last night and decided to lower the ante to 5 stickers = new video game. At this rate, he might make it by Christmas.
I called his old therapist after talking to the teacher. It just seems like we're going in circles--good Bob, bad Bob, good Bob, bad Bob--and I wanted her input as to whether we should ride this out or start therapy again. (I seriously question how much good therapy can be for a not-quite-5-year-old--I mean, it's not like he can lie on the couch and talk about his childhood--but desperate times call for desperate measures.) She still sees this as Bob "cycling" just like his father, who she believes is bipolar (and I agree with her on that one). She also suggested that, if he has gone through a recent growth spurt, it may be necessary to tweak his medications to correspond with his changing body chemistry. Which is good, because we have an appointment with the psych office tomorrow morning, so I won't have to wait long to discuss this with them.
It's just such a damn roller coaster with that kid. And as a parent, knowing his background and his history, I end up stuck between "is this bipolar?" and "is this just a kid who has some maturing and adjusting to do?"
It's virtually impossible to diagnose a preschooler with bipolar. Even moreso to find anyone willing to treat a preschooler for bipolar. So what do we do in the meantime? Continue to allow him to self-destruct until he's of an age the APA deems appropriate? Or just write off treatment as too scary to even consider (what if we're wrong?) and hope like hell not treating him doesn't end up making his life even more of a disaster?
I thank my lucky stars I have a preschool that's privately owned and limited to 12 total kids and the people in charge are more than willing and able to work with us instead of just setting expectations and giving us the boot when we fail to live up to them. I thank whatever universal force has blessed me with a husband who can handle a lot of bullshit. I praise the mystery deity for Zoloft and Ambien.
And every morning, as I pull out of the school parking lot, I say a prayer out loud to whoever may be listening that Bob has a good day and we don't all run out of hope.
We started the Penny Jar at school yesterday, thanks to Ben's genius idea and Bob's teacher's genius tweaking of said idea. The idea is Bob has a jar in the kitchen of the school. Every day, he starts with 10 pennies in the jar. If he fucks up, he has to remove a penny. If he does good, he gets to put a penny in. Five pennies at the end of the day = a sticker on our calendar at home. 10 pennies = 2 stickers. 20 stickers = the new Star Wars video game.
Yesterday, he ended the day with 2 pennies. And those were ones he'd earned back.
As of 10:30 am today, he was down to 1 penny. Good thing Ben and I discussed it last night and decided to lower the ante to 5 stickers = new video game. At this rate, he might make it by Christmas.
I called his old therapist after talking to the teacher. It just seems like we're going in circles--good Bob, bad Bob, good Bob, bad Bob--and I wanted her input as to whether we should ride this out or start therapy again. (I seriously question how much good therapy can be for a not-quite-5-year-old--I mean, it's not like he can lie on the couch and talk about his childhood--but desperate times call for desperate measures.) She still sees this as Bob "cycling" just like his father, who she believes is bipolar (and I agree with her on that one). She also suggested that, if he has gone through a recent growth spurt, it may be necessary to tweak his medications to correspond with his changing body chemistry. Which is good, because we have an appointment with the psych office tomorrow morning, so I won't have to wait long to discuss this with them.
It's just such a damn roller coaster with that kid. And as a parent, knowing his background and his history, I end up stuck between "is this bipolar?" and "is this just a kid who has some maturing and adjusting to do?"
It's virtually impossible to diagnose a preschooler with bipolar. Even moreso to find anyone willing to treat a preschooler for bipolar. So what do we do in the meantime? Continue to allow him to self-destruct until he's of an age the APA deems appropriate? Or just write off treatment as too scary to even consider (what if we're wrong?) and hope like hell not treating him doesn't end up making his life even more of a disaster?
I thank my lucky stars I have a preschool that's privately owned and limited to 12 total kids and the people in charge are more than willing and able to work with us instead of just setting expectations and giving us the boot when we fail to live up to them. I thank whatever universal force has blessed me with a husband who can handle a lot of bullshit. I praise the mystery deity for Zoloft and Ambien.
And every morning, as I pull out of the school parking lot, I say a prayer out loud to whoever may be listening that Bob has a good day and we don't all run out of hope.
posted by Mitzi Green at 11:09 AM
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