"This Is No Social Crisis...
...it's just another tricky day for you..."
Kids are dicks.
They're all about instant gratification, and we teach them as infants that if you want something, you'll get it if you scream loud enough. Then we have to spend years undoing that lesson, trying to teach them that screaming won't get them their way, no matter how blue they turn or how much they threaten to kill you in your sleep.
Bob seemed to have a good day at school (no news is good news, right?) and was in a good mood on the way home, through dinner, and even up to the point when Ben left for work. I suggested he unglue himself from the tv and find something for share day at school tomorrow (something that starts with the letter "B"--he settled for a "boat"), and he did so willingly. Then I suggested we walk to the library to return our (probably overdue) books. He agreed and was pleasant the whole way there. As we left, I suggested we go to the park across the street.
"Actually, I just want to go home and have an ice cream cone."
You can have an ice cream cone after we go to the park.
And that's when it started. "No, I want one NOW!" Then he threw himself to the ground and started wailing like I'd just banned ice cream cones for the next 30 years. I picked him up, placed him under a tree, and said "sit there and don't move." Then I tried to calmly explain to him that acting the way he was wouldn't get him any ice cream, but he bolted for the library parking lot. I gave him to the count of 3 to return to his spot. He barely made it and only because I dragged out 2 and 3. I would have beaten his ass if not for my amazing restraint. I told him we were going home and there would be no ice cream and no park. That went over about as well as the Hindenburg. He cried practically all the way home. He stopped for about 30 seconds to stop walking and give me a hug. Nice try, kid.
Since then, he's been fine until he brings up ice cream cones and I say no. Then the waterworks start up all over again. And the whining. And the bitching. I wanted to just say "fine, have a fucking ice cream cone," but the little voice in my head kept repeating the same thing: "give in now and you're done for, sister."
So he will have no ice cream cone tonight. I, on the other hand, will enjoy one with a bourbon & diet chaser as soon as his little ass is in bed.
Hey, he's not the only one who doesn't get what he wants today. I keep staring longingly at my bike, hoping Ben will materialize in our living room so I can go ride while it's still light outside. Ain't gonna happen. I'll either have to wait until he gets home and ride in the dark and hope not to die, or wait until tomorrow morning, haul my ass out of bed a half hour earlier than usual, and go then. And you can bet your sweet ass I'll be riding tomorrow evening.
I mean, he complains every so often about his lack of a social life, but (and correct me if I'm mistaken) he is the one who chose a position that meant working nights and weekends--right?
Of course, I guess one could say that I'm the one who chose to reproduce.
Fuck you.
Kids are dicks.
They're all about instant gratification, and we teach them as infants that if you want something, you'll get it if you scream loud enough. Then we have to spend years undoing that lesson, trying to teach them that screaming won't get them their way, no matter how blue they turn or how much they threaten to kill you in your sleep.
Bob seemed to have a good day at school (no news is good news, right?) and was in a good mood on the way home, through dinner, and even up to the point when Ben left for work. I suggested he unglue himself from the tv and find something for share day at school tomorrow (something that starts with the letter "B"--he settled for a "boat"), and he did so willingly. Then I suggested we walk to the library to return our (probably overdue) books. He agreed and was pleasant the whole way there. As we left, I suggested we go to the park across the street.
"Actually, I just want to go home and have an ice cream cone."
You can have an ice cream cone after we go to the park.
And that's when it started. "No, I want one NOW!" Then he threw himself to the ground and started wailing like I'd just banned ice cream cones for the next 30 years. I picked him up, placed him under a tree, and said "sit there and don't move." Then I tried to calmly explain to him that acting the way he was wouldn't get him any ice cream, but he bolted for the library parking lot. I gave him to the count of 3 to return to his spot. He barely made it and only because I dragged out 2 and 3. I would have beaten his ass if not for my amazing restraint. I told him we were going home and there would be no ice cream and no park. That went over about as well as the Hindenburg. He cried practically all the way home. He stopped for about 30 seconds to stop walking and give me a hug. Nice try, kid.
Since then, he's been fine until he brings up ice cream cones and I say no. Then the waterworks start up all over again. And the whining. And the bitching. I wanted to just say "fine, have a fucking ice cream cone," but the little voice in my head kept repeating the same thing: "give in now and you're done for, sister."
So he will have no ice cream cone tonight. I, on the other hand, will enjoy one with a bourbon & diet chaser as soon as his little ass is in bed.
Hey, he's not the only one who doesn't get what he wants today. I keep staring longingly at my bike, hoping Ben will materialize in our living room so I can go ride while it's still light outside. Ain't gonna happen. I'll either have to wait until he gets home and ride in the dark and hope not to die, or wait until tomorrow morning, haul my ass out of bed a half hour earlier than usual, and go then. And you can bet your sweet ass I'll be riding tomorrow evening.
I mean, he complains every so often about his lack of a social life, but (and correct me if I'm mistaken) he is the one who chose a position that meant working nights and weekends--right?
Of course, I guess one could say that I'm the one who chose to reproduce.
Fuck you.
posted by Mitzi Green at 7:49 PM
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