Why Is It...
...that when you really, really need a drink, you can't have one?
I'm feeling very discouraged today. I got an email from Bob's teacher yesterday saying Bob had been generally well-behaved all day until he went to art class, where he got pissed about who knows what, started throwing crayons, got moved to a single table, shoved said table into the very-pregnant art teacher, and got put in the solitary confinement room until his class teacher could come to get him. After she got him, he was an ass to her, too. And at Adventure Club, he wasn't "necessarily bad," but was bouncing off the walls, doing things he knows he's not supposed to do but blatantly ignoring instructions to stop.
I could tell it was "off" when I picked him up. He was bouncing out of his skin, and as I read him the riot act for being physical with a teacher (again), he seemed to only be half-listening. He told me what happened when I asked, but it was almost like he was telling a story about someone else. After we got home, he continued "ping-ing" around, couldn't sit still, couldn't stop talking, couldn't hold a train of thought.
Welcome to another manic episode. Yippee.
I don't have warm, fuzzy feelings about Bob's future. I can see him easily ending up in juvie or the kiddie nut house, whichever comes first. He has a biological father who is completely fucking crazy and maintains Bob doesn't need medication--indeed, doesn't give him his medication when he's with him--and that's certainly not going to help matters as Bob gets older and begins questioning the need for meds, himself. And how bad will things get in the future if he truly needs mood stabilizers and doesn't take them? Will I need to become the "drug cop" and make sure he swallows every day? I'm sure that will go over well. How much drama is he going to end up creating in our household? Are any of us going to make it through all this in one piece?
I'm just really, really tired. Tired of having to deal with Bob's mood swings and constant roller coastering. Tired of having to fight everyone--db who insists Bob is fine but for my shitty parenting, complete strangers who insist Bob is fine but for my shitty parenting, complete strangers who insist Bob just needs a good smack on the ass and my pumping him full of drugs is mere proof of my shitty parenting, a legal system that could give a flying fuck less about db's shitty parenting adding to Bob's issues, and last, but certainly not least, the complete and utter disregard by the mental health professional community of "early onset bipolar disorder."
I actually read an article last night on the web by some douchebag psychologist claiming EOBD is just "normal childhood behavior" and "parents willing to believe anything." Fuck you, buddy. My kid has exhibited anything BUT "normal childhood behavior" since he was 18 months old. And I am not "willing to believe anything." I spent two years fighting against daycare directors and preschool teachers who insisted my kid had ADHD and needed Ritalin at the age of 2. I STILL don't believe Bob's issues fall under the ADHD blanket, and I think the stimulants he's on are making things worse, not better. But what do I know? I'm not a professional. I'm only his mother.
In a nutshell, I'm sick to fucking death of the people who have spent the past 4 years telling me "do something about your kid," but when push comes to shove, they have no real suggestions, either.
We see the shrink's office again this week, but I'm not optimistic. I have a strong feeling they're more interested in my denying their $500 bill for the nurse practitioner's 15 minutes of (useless) trial testimony in August than in doing anything for my child. And I am, unfortunately, stuck there, now that I find the one psych in the area who specializes in bipolar children is "not taking any new patients."
Do something about your kid, but don't expect us to help you.
Ben mentioned last night that we had similar Boblems this time last year. Since my memory is for shit under the best circumstances, I checked my trusty blog archives (see, blogging DOES serve a purpose) and lo and behold, he was right. We did have Boblems this time last year. Which could correlate to the theory bipolar children tend to cycle with season changes and shorter/longer days (i.e., winter in the midwest), and/or react to the overstimulating nature of the holiday season. But then again, this time last year, db had just gotten back his regular visitation after 3 months of supervised weekly visits. This year, he's back to being a super prick since the judgment was issued in late October, and things have escalated since Thanksgiving weekend.
So I'm back facing the same question--is it nature (bipolar disorder) or nurture (douchebag biological father)?
Whatever it is, it's giving me a damn headache.
I'm feeling very discouraged today. I got an email from Bob's teacher yesterday saying Bob had been generally well-behaved all day until he went to art class, where he got pissed about who knows what, started throwing crayons, got moved to a single table, shoved said table into the very-pregnant art teacher, and got put in the solitary confinement room until his class teacher could come to get him. After she got him, he was an ass to her, too. And at Adventure Club, he wasn't "necessarily bad," but was bouncing off the walls, doing things he knows he's not supposed to do but blatantly ignoring instructions to stop.
I could tell it was "off" when I picked him up. He was bouncing out of his skin, and as I read him the riot act for being physical with a teacher (again), he seemed to only be half-listening. He told me what happened when I asked, but it was almost like he was telling a story about someone else. After we got home, he continued "ping-ing" around, couldn't sit still, couldn't stop talking, couldn't hold a train of thought.
Welcome to another manic episode. Yippee.
I don't have warm, fuzzy feelings about Bob's future. I can see him easily ending up in juvie or the kiddie nut house, whichever comes first. He has a biological father who is completely fucking crazy and maintains Bob doesn't need medication--indeed, doesn't give him his medication when he's with him--and that's certainly not going to help matters as Bob gets older and begins questioning the need for meds, himself. And how bad will things get in the future if he truly needs mood stabilizers and doesn't take them? Will I need to become the "drug cop" and make sure he swallows every day? I'm sure that will go over well. How much drama is he going to end up creating in our household? Are any of us going to make it through all this in one piece?
I'm just really, really tired. Tired of having to deal with Bob's mood swings and constant roller coastering. Tired of having to fight everyone--db who insists Bob is fine but for my shitty parenting, complete strangers who insist Bob is fine but for my shitty parenting, complete strangers who insist Bob just needs a good smack on the ass and my pumping him full of drugs is mere proof of my shitty parenting, a legal system that could give a flying fuck less about db's shitty parenting adding to Bob's issues, and last, but certainly not least, the complete and utter disregard by the mental health professional community of "early onset bipolar disorder."
I actually read an article last night on the web by some douchebag psychologist claiming EOBD is just "normal childhood behavior" and "parents willing to believe anything." Fuck you, buddy. My kid has exhibited anything BUT "normal childhood behavior" since he was 18 months old. And I am not "willing to believe anything." I spent two years fighting against daycare directors and preschool teachers who insisted my kid had ADHD and needed Ritalin at the age of 2. I STILL don't believe Bob's issues fall under the ADHD blanket, and I think the stimulants he's on are making things worse, not better. But what do I know? I'm not a professional. I'm only his mother.
In a nutshell, I'm sick to fucking death of the people who have spent the past 4 years telling me "do something about your kid," but when push comes to shove, they have no real suggestions, either.
We see the shrink's office again this week, but I'm not optimistic. I have a strong feeling they're more interested in my denying their $500 bill for the nurse practitioner's 15 minutes of (useless) trial testimony in August than in doing anything for my child. And I am, unfortunately, stuck there, now that I find the one psych in the area who specializes in bipolar children is "not taking any new patients."
Do something about your kid, but don't expect us to help you.
Ben mentioned last night that we had similar Boblems this time last year. Since my memory is for shit under the best circumstances, I checked my trusty blog archives (see, blogging DOES serve a purpose) and lo and behold, he was right. We did have Boblems this time last year. Which could correlate to the theory bipolar children tend to cycle with season changes and shorter/longer days (i.e., winter in the midwest), and/or react to the overstimulating nature of the holiday season. But then again, this time last year, db had just gotten back his regular visitation after 3 months of supervised weekly visits. This year, he's back to being a super prick since the judgment was issued in late October, and things have escalated since Thanksgiving weekend.
So I'm back facing the same question--is it nature (bipolar disorder) or nurture (douchebag biological father)?
Whatever it is, it's giving me a damn headache.
posted by Mitzi Green at 6:55 AM
1 Comments:
Find yourself a REALLY good therapist for your child, and then have he or she document your child's behavior for a year or so.
I have know since birth, practically that Diminutive One was "different". At first we called him "Spirited", but eventually, I had to accept the fact that there was something more going on. He is amazingly intelligent, but he was doing very, very poorly in school.
It's a long, long story, but this year, he started taking a very small dose of Concerta, which is the modern day counterpart of Ritalin. I want to be cautious about touting pharmaceuticals as magic wands, but the results are nothing short of amazing.
His self-esteem has increased a million fold.
Seriously, find a good therapist. They will be your strongest ally.
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