IT'S HERE.
It arrived today.
I got back to my office from my disgusting Mexican lunch (thanks, Ben) to find a package on my desk. I didn't recall ordering anything...except It. But surely It couldn't have arrived so quickly, could It?
It did.
So as soon as bossman got his lunch out of the fridge and closed his office door, I scurried into the bathroom with my little package.
Here are my thoughts so far:
I am certainly not 2 sizes smaller, but my Dunlap Disease is considerably improved, if not entirely cured. I had a little trouble getting the thing on (think brand new pair of control top tights multiplied by 100), but once I got the straps in place and adjusted and everything where it's supposed to be, it was all right. It's definitely more comfortable standing up than sitting (and I've had a shitload of Mexican food for lunch, keep in mind), but it's not any more uncomfortable (and possibly less so) than my pants typically are after lunch. And it seems to be improving my posture by making me want to sit a little straighter than normal.
I happen to be wearing a pair of capris that fit perfectly in the butt and thighs, but are a little snug around the waist, and a cotton/lycra t-shirt that's not very forgiving of bulges. My pants now button more easily (without the roll hanging over), and there are no bulges visible from the front. My back is still a little lumpy--almost as if all the fat got shoved north and doesn't know where to go--but it's not bad, and it really doesn't look like I'm wearing a girdle--maybe just an ill-fitting bra.
I'm a little worried about how I'm going to use the can in this thing. The new Slim'n'Lift Supreme features a "discreet split opening" in the coochie area, "so you don't have to disrobe when visiting the powder room." Yeah, well, I've never been one to be able to not piss all over myself when I'm shooting for a straight, simple stream, so we'll see about that. And what if you have to #2? I think some disrobing might be necessary in spite of their good intentions.
So, my overall opinion so far--not quite the miracle worker they claim it to be, but I'm not completely dissatisfied. Yet. I'll try it under a few other outfits and see what I think. And of course, I'll keep you all posted. Because I know this is the hottest news since Britney shaved her head.
I got back to my office from my disgusting Mexican lunch (thanks, Ben) to find a package on my desk. I didn't recall ordering anything...except It. But surely It couldn't have arrived so quickly, could It?
It did.
So as soon as bossman got his lunch out of the fridge and closed his office door, I scurried into the bathroom with my little package.
Here are my thoughts so far:
I am certainly not 2 sizes smaller, but my Dunlap Disease is considerably improved, if not entirely cured. I had a little trouble getting the thing on (think brand new pair of control top tights multiplied by 100), but once I got the straps in place and adjusted and everything where it's supposed to be, it was all right. It's definitely more comfortable standing up than sitting (and I've had a shitload of Mexican food for lunch, keep in mind), but it's not any more uncomfortable (and possibly less so) than my pants typically are after lunch. And it seems to be improving my posture by making me want to sit a little straighter than normal.
I happen to be wearing a pair of capris that fit perfectly in the butt and thighs, but are a little snug around the waist, and a cotton/lycra t-shirt that's not very forgiving of bulges. My pants now button more easily (without the roll hanging over), and there are no bulges visible from the front. My back is still a little lumpy--almost as if all the fat got shoved north and doesn't know where to go--but it's not bad, and it really doesn't look like I'm wearing a girdle--maybe just an ill-fitting bra.
I'm a little worried about how I'm going to use the can in this thing. The new Slim'n'Lift Supreme features a "discreet split opening" in the coochie area, "so you don't have to disrobe when visiting the powder room." Yeah, well, I've never been one to be able to not piss all over myself when I'm shooting for a straight, simple stream, so we'll see about that. And what if you have to #2? I think some disrobing might be necessary in spite of their good intentions.
So, my overall opinion so far--not quite the miracle worker they claim it to be, but I'm not completely dissatisfied. Yet. I'll try it under a few other outfits and see what I think. And of course, I'll keep you all posted. Because I know this is the hottest news since Britney shaved her head.
posted by Mitzi Green at 11:05 AM
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