How To Kick Saturday's Ass
My Saturday morning:
1. Catch serious attitude from 5 year old boy. Threaten to end 5 year old boy's life just as swiftly as I created it. Go back to bed.
2. Get up, shower, eat breakfast.
3. Go to post office to mail something for work to the client I hate most. Stand in line for 16 minutes only to be told by the stupid federal employee that, because I didn't use their special envelope, I'm short $1.20 in postage. Like the fucking envelope magically makes the paper inside weigh less or some shit. Get annoyed as fuck. Decide not to use debit card for work expense in light of what happened the last time I did that. Take envelope back and pick up certified mail from db (February's child support, 1 month and 3 days late).
4. Go to bank to deposit paycheck and child support check. Child support check is, as usual, made out to maiden name, which I haven't gone by since I got married OVER A FUCKING YEAR AGO. Bank teller says they can't cash that check because it's not made out to me and I don't have documentation of my name change. Relay sob story about douchebag baby's daddy who refuses to put my real name on the checks for no good fucking reason other than just to be a prick. Teller agrees to cash it just this once, but not again.
5. Come home and send nasty email to db re: if he sends another check to wrong name, I will send it back and file a motion to find him in contempt of court for not paying child support.
6. Get non-fat caramel macchiato and go get hair cut.
7. Come home and deep-clean dining room and kitchen (even the microwave).
8. Go to the gym and knock out 600 calories. That should make up for those 2 Taco Bell tacos your fat ass ate last night.
1. Catch serious attitude from 5 year old boy. Threaten to end 5 year old boy's life just as swiftly as I created it. Go back to bed.
2. Get up, shower, eat breakfast.
3. Go to post office to mail something for work to the client I hate most. Stand in line for 16 minutes only to be told by the stupid federal employee that, because I didn't use their special envelope, I'm short $1.20 in postage. Like the fucking envelope magically makes the paper inside weigh less or some shit. Get annoyed as fuck. Decide not to use debit card for work expense in light of what happened the last time I did that. Take envelope back and pick up certified mail from db (February's child support, 1 month and 3 days late).
4. Go to bank to deposit paycheck and child support check. Child support check is, as usual, made out to maiden name, which I haven't gone by since I got married OVER A FUCKING YEAR AGO. Bank teller says they can't cash that check because it's not made out to me and I don't have documentation of my name change. Relay sob story about douchebag baby's daddy who refuses to put my real name on the checks for no good fucking reason other than just to be a prick. Teller agrees to cash it just this once, but not again.
5. Come home and send nasty email to db re: if he sends another check to wrong name, I will send it back and file a motion to find him in contempt of court for not paying child support.
6. Get non-fat caramel macchiato and go get hair cut.
7. Come home and deep-clean dining room and kitchen (even the microwave).
8. Go to the gym and knock out 600 calories. That should make up for those 2 Taco Bell tacos your fat ass ate last night.
posted by Mitzi Green at 12:52 PM
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