FU, Calgon--I Need a REAL Vacation

I'd like to send a big shout out to whoever decided all these non-holidays were a good idea. I'm sure to get a virtual smackdown for this, but does MLK day really need to be a federal holiday? And before you call me a racist hater, let me go on to ask if we really need to "celebrate" the birthdays of a couple of past presidents who have both been dead long enough to appear on currency? I mean, come on--how many people who take today and 2/18 off are going to spend those days in quiet reflection on the lives of King, Lincoln and Washington and what their sacrifices mean to them? (Um, I bet I can answer that question--I'm thinking of a number between 1 and -1.)

So really, is it necessary to close the schools every other fucking Monday after the kids finally return from "winter" break? I mean, if y'all are going to bitch about attendance rates and how little kids want to be in school after the holidays, how about you not give them a fucking 3-day weekend every other week?

Because truly, all you're doing is pissing off parents who have to work for a living and rely on their precious angels being at school during the day--and that means EVERY day--Monday through Friday. It's bad enough we have to find alternative arrangements for the two week "winter" break (f/k/a Christmas break before the politically correct police stepped in) and the week-long spring break (as if elementary school aged children really NEED a spring break). Now you're mucking up the works by letting them out early every other Friday for one idiotic thing or another, and every other Monday by honoring these non-holidays that just aren't necessary.

I'm Irish, and if the day ever comes that St. Patrick's day is made a federal holiday, I'll be bitching up a storm about that, too.

Tell you what--we can compromise. You can keep all these ridiculous excuses to close banks, schools and courthouses, and I'll shut up about it--IF you agree to relocate these "holidays" to the summer months. Because I won't complain at all about a 3-day weekend in the summer, when the kids aren't in school anyway, and my workload isn't nearly as hectic as it is at the beginning of the year. I'm just not down with these January and February three-day weekends. I'm already behind because of the serious time killer that is December--don't fuck up my cabbage patch any more than it already is.