Ah, Futility
So I wasted 3 hours of my life today in what may go down in history as the biggest circle jerk on record.
This afternoon, I met with my lawyer, DB, and DB's lawyer in an effort to reach an agreement and possibly settle the custody dispute. I knew it would be worthless. The lawyers, not getting paid, were optimistic.
It started with DB calling me a "fucking bitch" in the lobby of my attorney's office. That was nice. Without going into too much detail, he made a royal ass of himself in front of the rest of us. Unfortunately, the days of mom getting full custody and an assload of child support while dear ol' dad gets the shaft are long gone. Courts now favor "fathers' rights" and almost always award joint custody, unless one parent can prove the other is somehow unfit--i.e., cooking meth, smoking meth, selling meth, physically abusing the child(ren), or mentally incompetent. I probably have a pretty good argument on the mentally incompetent part--but proving it would be rather difficult, if not impossible.
And I'm not sure I have that much fight left in me.
So DB managed to be cordial through the latter half of the meeting. By the time I returned to my office, that was over. He called and left me a voice mail about how he'd met with El Nino's new school, and didn't like it, and didn't like the people there, and is convinced all the teachers and the director are potheads. (Takes one to know one, after all, right?) I emailed him and told him I didn't think there was any such nonsense going on, and that the agreement during the meeting not 2 hours ago had been to leave El Nino where he is and see how he does. His reply: "you are wrong i did not agree and in fact i don't think i'll be taking (him) back there ever again."
Whatever.
What am I supposed to do--call him up and plead my case? Argue? For what? What, exactly, will I accomplish? Nothing. I'll only frustrate myself and thereby give him what he wants--control.
I refuse.
He called tonight to talk to El Nino, who didn't want to talk to him. He again reiterated he would not be "taking him back there ever again, and if you want to discuss it, you know where to find me." I didn't bother calling back. There would be no point.
I'm tired of wasting my energy on futile pursuits.
This afternoon, I met with my lawyer, DB, and DB's lawyer in an effort to reach an agreement and possibly settle the custody dispute. I knew it would be worthless. The lawyers, not getting paid, were optimistic.
It started with DB calling me a "fucking bitch" in the lobby of my attorney's office. That was nice. Without going into too much detail, he made a royal ass of himself in front of the rest of us. Unfortunately, the days of mom getting full custody and an assload of child support while dear ol' dad gets the shaft are long gone. Courts now favor "fathers' rights" and almost always award joint custody, unless one parent can prove the other is somehow unfit--i.e., cooking meth, smoking meth, selling meth, physically abusing the child(ren), or mentally incompetent. I probably have a pretty good argument on the mentally incompetent part--but proving it would be rather difficult, if not impossible.
And I'm not sure I have that much fight left in me.
So DB managed to be cordial through the latter half of the meeting. By the time I returned to my office, that was over. He called and left me a voice mail about how he'd met with El Nino's new school, and didn't like it, and didn't like the people there, and is convinced all the teachers and the director are potheads. (Takes one to know one, after all, right?) I emailed him and told him I didn't think there was any such nonsense going on, and that the agreement during the meeting not 2 hours ago had been to leave El Nino where he is and see how he does. His reply: "you are wrong i did not agree and in fact i don't think i'll be taking (him) back there ever again."
Whatever.
What am I supposed to do--call him up and plead my case? Argue? For what? What, exactly, will I accomplish? Nothing. I'll only frustrate myself and thereby give him what he wants--control.
I refuse.
He called tonight to talk to El Nino, who didn't want to talk to him. He again reiterated he would not be "taking him back there ever again, and if you want to discuss it, you know where to find me." I didn't bother calling back. There would be no point.
I'm tired of wasting my energy on futile pursuits.
posted by Mitzi Green at 9:36 PM
1 Comments:
i'm not a brick wall. quite the opposite. and it's starting to show.
i'm going to lose everything, i'm afraid. one way or another.
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