Desperate Times and the Measures They Call For
I'm totally binge-eating today.
In addition to my Lean Cuisine Lemongrass Chicken, I have consumed roughly a third of a 13 oz. bag of taco flavored Doritos and a Hershey's "with caramel" candy bar. (Yes, Hershey's now makes their own version of the Caramello. It's heavenly.)
I figure if I have to be here, completing mindless tasks to make bosshole feel like he has a bigger penis than he actually does, I may as well be eating.
Wow, I really hope I can find a job soon--preferably one in an office that is (1) not situated near any retail snack vendors and (2) not into vending machines. Being 30 floors above Osco and 29 floors above the little building snack shop is BAD news.
speaking of bad news...
My sister emailed me. Grandma has 2 arteries 100% blocked, 1 that is 70% blocked. Why the doctor felt it necessary to tell her this, I have no idea. Old people worry, and when they worry, they die. Duh. Grandpa is scheduled for gall bladder removal, and "they think there might be something wrong with his heart." Of course there's something wrong with his heart--it's been around for 92 years. And I don't need a medical degree to tell you that.
Ugh.
I just popped my second Advil Cold & Sinus liqui-gel in an hour because the first wasn't doing it for me. I learned today that, because I live in the meth capital of the world, one can no longer walk into a store and pick up a package of any cold medicine containing pseudoephedrine. You can, however, pick up a little card with a picture of what you want, carry it to the pharmacist, and sign your name to the national registry, so if your house blows up suddenly, the feds have proof that you've been buying cold pills to make your own meth. Nice. Fortunately, liqui-gels cannot be ground up and used for meth production, so there's no hassle buying them. Good to know.
I can't buy cold pills without showing ID and signing a sworn statement that I won't make and/or sell drugs, and my grandparents are subject to being made into human lab rats whenever they set foot in a hospital simply because Medicare pays without question.
What the fuck is wrong with this country?
I checked the ex's email today (out of boredom and also to see if there's anything incriminating there) and he's emailing the married chick again. She's been kind of avoiding him lately (gee--wonder why). He sent her 2 pictures of my son. This pisses me off. He'll send pictures of my son to ANYONE. I printed that email and added it to my stack. He has until next Thursday (the 18th) to file an answer with the court--otherwise, I can file for a default judgment. Which I may be able to prevail on, if he whines to the court he couldn't come up with a retainer in time, and I pull out my printed email receipts for his $30 phone and $402 camera. You had the money for these, asshole...
I bought El Nino a new cup today during my Osco trip. I noticed this morning his cup from Monday morning, still sitting in the back seat of my car, still half full of what used to be chocolate milk but is now just plain disgusting. I brought it into my office, thinking I might clean it out--but said "fuck it" and threw it in the trash. I bought him one of those flip-up straw cups with Spongebob on it. That should thrill and amaze him long enough for us to make it home tonight without any arguing...
I need to stop eating. Really. I'm picking up McDinner for El Nino tonight, and Ben and I are going to make chicken curry later (after El Nino goes to bed). It's going to take all of my willpower not to buy myself a cheeseburger to inhale and then hide the wrapper under my seat or something.
If I weren't on Depo, I would have been due to welcome Aunt Flo yesterday. I wonder if that has anything to do with my sudden need to feed? Anything's possible, I guess.
Damn, I'm interesting.
At least Martha has an interesting job. Ben had to talk to some coach at a school precariously close to our house, and Martha needed her morning walk, so he took her with him. She now apparently thinks she's a "junior reporter" or something of that nature. Damn, even my DOG gets more work action than I do.
I'm so glad I went to college.
In addition to my Lean Cuisine Lemongrass Chicken, I have consumed roughly a third of a 13 oz. bag of taco flavored Doritos and a Hershey's "with caramel" candy bar. (Yes, Hershey's now makes their own version of the Caramello. It's heavenly.)
I figure if I have to be here, completing mindless tasks to make bosshole feel like he has a bigger penis than he actually does, I may as well be eating.
Wow, I really hope I can find a job soon--preferably one in an office that is (1) not situated near any retail snack vendors and (2) not into vending machines. Being 30 floors above Osco and 29 floors above the little building snack shop is BAD news.
speaking of bad news...
My sister emailed me. Grandma has 2 arteries 100% blocked, 1 that is 70% blocked. Why the doctor felt it necessary to tell her this, I have no idea. Old people worry, and when they worry, they die. Duh. Grandpa is scheduled for gall bladder removal, and "they think there might be something wrong with his heart." Of course there's something wrong with his heart--it's been around for 92 years. And I don't need a medical degree to tell you that.
Ugh.
I just popped my second Advil Cold & Sinus liqui-gel in an hour because the first wasn't doing it for me. I learned today that, because I live in the meth capital of the world, one can no longer walk into a store and pick up a package of any cold medicine containing pseudoephedrine. You can, however, pick up a little card with a picture of what you want, carry it to the pharmacist, and sign your name to the national registry, so if your house blows up suddenly, the feds have proof that you've been buying cold pills to make your own meth. Nice. Fortunately, liqui-gels cannot be ground up and used for meth production, so there's no hassle buying them. Good to know.
I can't buy cold pills without showing ID and signing a sworn statement that I won't make and/or sell drugs, and my grandparents are subject to being made into human lab rats whenever they set foot in a hospital simply because Medicare pays without question.
What the fuck is wrong with this country?
I checked the ex's email today (out of boredom and also to see if there's anything incriminating there) and he's emailing the married chick again. She's been kind of avoiding him lately (gee--wonder why). He sent her 2 pictures of my son. This pisses me off. He'll send pictures of my son to ANYONE. I printed that email and added it to my stack. He has until next Thursday (the 18th) to file an answer with the court--otherwise, I can file for a default judgment. Which I may be able to prevail on, if he whines to the court he couldn't come up with a retainer in time, and I pull out my printed email receipts for his $30 phone and $402 camera. You had the money for these, asshole...
I bought El Nino a new cup today during my Osco trip. I noticed this morning his cup from Monday morning, still sitting in the back seat of my car, still half full of what used to be chocolate milk but is now just plain disgusting. I brought it into my office, thinking I might clean it out--but said "fuck it" and threw it in the trash. I bought him one of those flip-up straw cups with Spongebob on it. That should thrill and amaze him long enough for us to make it home tonight without any arguing...
I need to stop eating. Really. I'm picking up McDinner for El Nino tonight, and Ben and I are going to make chicken curry later (after El Nino goes to bed). It's going to take all of my willpower not to buy myself a cheeseburger to inhale and then hide the wrapper under my seat or something.
If I weren't on Depo, I would have been due to welcome Aunt Flo yesterday. I wonder if that has anything to do with my sudden need to feed? Anything's possible, I guess.
Damn, I'm interesting.
At least Martha has an interesting job. Ben had to talk to some coach at a school precariously close to our house, and Martha needed her morning walk, so he took her with him. She now apparently thinks she's a "junior reporter" or something of that nature. Damn, even my DOG gets more work action than I do.
I'm so glad I went to college.
posted by Mitzi Green at 12:49 PM
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